Regretion always come only after loss... Often people begin to regret about what they have not done when that "someone" is still alive... Same goes for me... I expect my this entry to be full of tears...
It about A Love that is too Late...
The Childhood times...When I was little, I was brought up by my godma who is my nanny... thou' I came back home every weekend, am not as close to my granny.. Unlike my elder sis who is brought up by Granny and share a very close relationship with her... probably am influence by my mum who not in a good terms with granny, I always throw tantrums at Granny, argue with her.
I can still recall that Granny was always the one who bought lunch and dinner for me and sis when we were in the primary and secondary school, when mum works on the weekends.
Granny use to stay with us in this 3 room HDB flat whereby me and sis share the room with her, gradually, the family come out with the idea of getting her to take turns stay at each child's place for every 2 weeks, thus, m
y granny become like a ball been push around. I would like to clarify that my dad is not those unfilial son, just that my mum dominant over him. He has always been a easy-going guy who won't fight for anything. Just for the sake of fairness, the family thought
its was only fair if she take turns to stay at every son's house for 2 weeks each (she got 4 sons by the way). Soon my granny got tired of it,
she volunteer to go to the old folk home. At my age (13-14 years old),
I don't even knows whats all this about and never even bother to think or analyze the situation. Things just went on...
Granny shifted to the old folk home, during her 1st year at the home, she still came back for New year, but just for the very 1st year,
after that she refuse to come back. And after some accident at the home, she left us. I didn't went to the hospital to visit her and
I would say I had handle her death pretty well. I didn't shed a tear when I receive the news.
Only start tearing at the very last moment when she is cremated.
The wake up Call...As times passed...
I didn't really think much about it until one of our daily night chat (last time I use to share a room with sis), sis share with me how much she missed Granny.
She told me alot of stories about granny, about how bonded are they, about the sufferings that my granny went thru'...
She share the reason why Granny don't wanna come back home after the 1st New year she spent at home... Granny fell in the restroom and told sis that
she felt this house is no longer her home when all the furnituring are changed (we refurnished the whole house after Granny shifted),
she was upset, so sad that she don't even wanna come home. I recalled that my godma (who was then my granny recognised as her god-daughter, they share a very close friendship) ever told me that granny did shared with her that
she felt very very sad when she 1st reach the old folks home.. all these start to trigger my emotions and
made me realized that how much I had missed...The moments that are lost... I began to feel the pain that she was feeling at that very moment when she decided to go to the old folk home...
A lot of things that haven't been done and can no longer be done... When my granny left us, I was only 15, at that schooling age, am not able to bring my granny out for a meal. Mobile phone with camera are not invented yet, not even the colour screen handphone. Digital camera is a rare item to own.
I don't even have a decent photo taken with Granny. many said that I look alot like my granny, which now am proud and happy about it.
I realized that I have never given her anything, not even a hug...Same goes for my sis,
everytime we watch a show or a movie, if there is a scene of the old lady been sent to the home,
We will start tearing... For example, [
Money not enough] by Jack Neo, which the old grandmother share exactly the same fortune as my granny, been push around and end up send to home, the difference is that my granny is mentally sound when she volunteer to shift to the home. The recent movie I watch [
A simple Life] trigger my tears too. I won't say the movie is very good or really very touching kind,
but I cried a bucket of tears in the cinema, main reason is it remind me of my late Granny.
It have been more than 10 years, yet every year when I visit the urn, my eyes still went watery.So much so much regret...
If only I know about appreciation much earlier, I could have given her a hug...Many people had left, but
she is the only one who I could never stop missing and fill me with regretion...A tribute to my Late GrannyRecently I saw a Post on Facebook by
Rose Charities Singapore, they are paying a visit to
Lee Ah Mooi Old Age Home on
15th April, and they are
looking for contribution of adult diapers, rashes cream, shower foams, necessities items.
Immediately I thought of my Granny and decided to make a contribution. As for the visit, I hesitate for a while as I afraid that my low EQ might make me burst on that day of visit, but with support from Love, I decided to go for it.
For people who want to contribute:Rose Charities Singapore had contacted Summit Co.,distributor for Pureen products, who had kindly agreed to support the cause by offering items at a much lower price.
Special prices had been offered for the following items:
Pureen Inco Adult Diaper (Free size)
Product code: PR-PIDFS10-0
Unit price: $5.80 / 10 pcs per pkt (usual price:$7.30)
12pkt in 1 carton
Pureen Baby Shampoo with Vit E
Product code: PR-PSV75-0
Unit price: $4.22 / 750ML (usual price:$6.95))
12units in 1 carton
Pureen Baby Lotion
Product code: PR-PNL30-0
Unit price: $1.94 / 225ml (usual price:$3.20)
24 units in 1 carton
Pureen Nappy Rash Cream
Product code: PR-NAP01-0
Unit price: $2.37 / 50g (usual price:$3.90)
24 units in 1 carton
Pls contact Shendy - Summit Company @ mobile: 97637288 for orders and payment. Mode of payment can be Cash, Cheque or Bank transfer.
**To enjoy the special prices offered to donors of Rose Charities Singapore, kindly let Shendy know that you are donating in the name of Rose Charities.
A short introduction about Lee Ah Mooi Old Age Home:Lee Ah Mooi Old age Home is a living, breathing testament to an amazing story of Madam Lee and her family's dedication to a cause and the place of rest and solace for those treading the final lap of their lives.
There are over 150 old folk currently staying at the home.
Many of these old folks, often senile, are abandoned by families at the hospitals or at door step. Many are from low income families who cannot pay much or staying for free due to working family unable to take care of them. All these old folks are living off Lee Ah Mooi Old Age Home who depends heavily on charity.
Shouting out to all readers:I hereby sincerely wish that whoever who read this, who share a good heart, who had a granny or grandpa, whether they are with you or had left, with love, do a contribution. No matter how much you contribute, even for just 1 packet of diapers, I thanks you whole-heartedly.
Its not alot of money, as little as $10 can help the olds. $10 is just a cost of 1 meal. I myself contributed a carton of diapers which cost SGD$75,
which is just the cost of a meal for 2 pax at a medium grade restaurant, its really not alot.
Its not as much as the cost of a Branded bag nor a ipad 4G (if you can afford any of such, I believe this contribution is nothing to u).
Without eating a meal won't kill, but without your help, these 150 old folks will suffer.The world can only be warm if there Love are spread around...The world had been contaminate with alot of jealousy, hatred, curelty, all negetive force,
can we start to breed love and happiness...?** Do join us for a visit to the home, please visit Rose Charities Singapore Facebook page to know more about the event.
