i so tired... am really exhuasted...
y do i have to work so hard? y am i not born to be bimbo, jus get a bloody 'high class' vase kind of job, getting a mthly pay with gd bonus and dun even require the use of brain! like, be a 'high class social escort' or something!
y do i wan to be who i wan to be, be so ambitious... wanting to advance myself, trying things out! can't i jus lay back and sit at the couch from 8am to 5pm, 5 days a week, make myself like a display vase, then seduce a rich man son and cheat him into marrying me and give me nth but lots of money! or born with a golden spoon, like paris hilton, brainless, and only need to open her legs wide! y do i have to be someone who persus my dreams, my goals and tired up myself....
being a human being is jus so tedious, the path to success is jus so tiring... am i expecting too much support, am i not doing much enough. prephaps i'm jus pure stupid, who wan to be indepent... y am i not someone who is always waiting to be spoon-fed...
recently, there's so many news.... sg security level is decreasing, ppl can get kill at crowded plc, terrorist can easily escape from protected compound. how i wish someone will just run out from behind and stab me to death, or when i'm seating at a corner, some terrorists set a bomb and bomb me to death, or wat... den i dun need to even work so hard...
if ur think that by jus saying is a kind of support to me, thanks. u can save it to urself... i can't change who i am, i can't change my expectation of myself, i can't change my attitude towards things... maybe by asking me to die is easier den asking me to change...
i did wat is within my limits to show my appreciation, to show my respect, to show how much i treasure but it seems nth, it seems not gd enuff... prephaps by being a bimbo will be jus gd enuff for u... i should have chose to be a loner, and stay as an old maid till i die... it will be much much better for everyone...
sad to say, till now, i nv regret for being who i am, i only regret coming to this world as a human being...
Reincarnation is only a kind of punishment... maybe vanish is den a bless....