曲名：我要快乐歌手：张惠妹

又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓 当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着 味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨 我早应该割舍
我要快乐 哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的 全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的

把从前想了一遍
谢谢了 伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声 听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨 我早应该割舍
我要快乐 哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的 全都是假的
我的决定是对的

Just totally, entirely tired..

its been ages since i last blog... so much things tat i always wanted to write abt, so many time i'm been distracted, and fail to blog abt...

some times life just unpredictable, terribly sux... ppl are not who they seems to be... not saying that anyone being bad but jus ppl try to hide abt their feelings, try to assume things, try to avoid... sometimes i feel my life being empty... empty in a way, there's nth much to really happy abt, there's neither anything to be sad abt... i dun leads a roller coaster life i'll say... unlike the past, when i can express my feelings to my close ones... i begin to believe in forgetting... which i realize its nv forgotten but jus avoidance... not tat my frens had changed or had left me, but i just can't seems to really let myself cry out wat within me... being to hard to myself maybe, but am jus to use to force myself, sharing joyful things but not bad times... its like being handicapped... buried myself in other biz to divert my attention somewhere, thou' during quiet times, i still ponder abt things... sometimes i blame myself for being too harsh on things, too harsh on ppl... but its like the way i feel towards relationship... wat done is done, wat done can't be undone... i'll reflect, but i will nv regret... cos regret can't bring u back to where u start... there's future to look toward but not past...

having a long long break... this long break have somehow kill me in a way... one can't be left doing nth... they will lost their mind... not to mention abt ppl like me, who thinks and analyze too much... i'm tired of tearing, tired of explaining, tired of getting pissed, tired of feeling sux, tired of complaining, tired of life, tired of pain... tired of life, but i noe that it won't end so soon and i hav to continue and try to improve my life... this tiredness have somehow push me to a limit... to the extend i wish to isolate myself for awhile... at times i'm proud of being myself... but at time i hate myself for who i am... someone jus taught me something abt the word 'assume', 'assume' is make an ASS out of U & ME... so nv assume, jus do...

always... i feel... no one had really understand me tat well... or i had nv gif anyone a chance to understand me... again, something hit me... the slogan tat i used to say when am in my poly life : "no one owe u anything, hence no one need to take ur nonsense"... this verse come running in my mind agn... agn, i begin to push myself hard... wan myself to be independent, even if i noe i'm not really like tat... maybe ppl ard had bought the image i try to create... i dun wish to admit tat i need to sometimes fall back on someone becos i'm not as strong as i appear to be... in a way, i dun allow myself to appear weak... I'm fine, i'm really fine... its jus back to sq one... in life, there's alway bad times... jus like recession, it will always come back, its jus abt the duration, how long this whole shit will last...

some stuffs in life can nv belong to anyone, and one can't really own anybody, except themselves... like i always say, i came to this world alone, i gng to leave this world alone also... even if the whole world forsake me, i must nv forsake myself... its only me who noe how to love me and truely love me...

am too tired... too tired to say much... too tired to do much... too tired to explain much... too tired of having expectations... too tired of being demanding... too tired to recover things... maybe its jus me... easily defeated...

its late... sweet dreams to me... gd luck for my tests tml... god bless...