Celebrating X'Mas at mi Bloggie

X'mas rd the corner huh... Snows falling and a change of blog song... for X'mas... though it sound abit sad... but its cool and of cos suit my blog... hehe~

歌曲：圣诞结
歌手：陈奕迅

我住的城巿从不下雪
记忆却堆满冷的感觉
思念的旺季霓虹扫过喧哗的街
把快乐赶得好远
*落单的恋人最怕过节
只能独自庆祝尽量喝醉
我爱过的人没有一个留在身边
寂寞它陪我过夜
#marry marry christmas
lonely lonely christmas
想祝福不知该给谁
爱被我们打了死结
lonely lonely christmas
marry marry christmas
写了卡片能寄给谁
心碎的像街上的纸屑
repeat *#
电话不接不要被人发现我整夜都关在房间
狂欢的笑声听来像哀悼的音乐
眼眶的泪温热冻结望著电视里的无聊节目
瘫在沙发上变成没知觉的植物
repeat ##
谁来陪我过这圣诞节

hereby wish everyone a merry X'mas....

I'm Catching Up..

my life becoming more and more aimless... ok... other den material aims... nth else...

a little updates... changes in my circle of fren or rather ppl ard me... tired, tired of taking the initiative to ask ppl out... human beings are sick! i sound so like irae... fixing human being are the worse! haha... ok, see me as whoever ur wan... it won't affect me... did a bit of self-reflect... i'm fierce, i'm proud, i'm not a happy person, i'm cock, i'm rough.... but overall, i like the way i am... as if there is a label on me which say "JeS|yN the DeSoLo"... its branded and expensive k! haha~

met up wif tricia 2 days back... dun noe y, whenever i mit up wif her, i love her more... ya, alot of regret for not treating her tat gd... but no doubt, she's bless and gifted... i might say a person who will invite envious but also jealousy from ppl of teh same gender... battle between the gender~ haha... Women's jealousy can make them do things tat are far beyond your imagination... scary creature indeed, especially for her who is currently working in a women environment, watelse, a environment full of beautiful ladies... thing are worse... but as wat i said, she's bless and sure no matter wat others were to do, they can't nv snatch the blessing away... she might feel the hurt, the pain... but it nv gonna bring her down... and i kind of feel tat... tat particular chemical tat is born within her tell mi tat...

anyway, ger, jus let them say wat they wan... be urself, its u and ur own label "tricia precious"... k! go wif ur heart and simply jus love u alot... *muack*

as usual, one of my regular kaki~ get to noe him better, kind of like a sister to me... haha... very different, even better den most of my fren ard me... shopping wif me, clubbing wif mi, be my PA, carry all my shopping bags... u noe who u r... also one who i'll throw all my thoughts on him, my darkest secrets which not even my closest fren noe abt it~ Thanks for being there whenever i need someone, waiting for me outside this stupid sale thingy wif all my bags and stuffs... love u too... and like wat i always say, dun look down on urself... if u dun noe abt loving urself, how could other love u... k!

2 of my best buddies... a change of ppl ard me... wilson, gone wif all his broken promises and ya... if only u noe me better, i'm tired of these... i'm tired to put in extra effort even if i think tat its worth it... jus pure tired, knowing tat when there's once, there will be twice and so on... tired...
and for shu, tired also... dun like it when i felt been taken for granted... take it or leave it... i rather be alone den to be push ard or be taken for granted...
and of cos the many countless one, like mich, dewei, jen, and alot... probably the bz life that we hav, probably the circle of fren tat we can't leave, probably the endless tiriness, probably the rountine ns life, probably and many probably... ppl come and goes... who say frenship will nv end... but i do experience a whole rounded full stop in some of my frenship (which is not worth mentioning), and also those kidn which left me so silently... disappointment indeed, but not angry... i mean for wat, i noe myself for my laziness but of cos others are the same... tryign to be understanding maybe... but all i seek for is jus sincerity... as long as i can feel tat sincerity, i'm satisfy enough~

i'm getting from bad to worse... my demand is stacking up of the height of a mountain and the thing i want is gettign more and more expensive... i'm getting so materialistic... but i enjoy it... cos afterall money is the more reliable as compare to any other things on earth... but maybe dog is reliable also... haha~ gone case~!!!

☆ RoJaK EnTrY ☆

Going to throw in watever i have with me rite now~

1st of all... let me introduce my ever 1st little apple doll~!!! ERRO~

Darling Erro still inside the box...

i simply fall for her eyes and of cos not forgetting little apple red~
Erro is cute isn't it? my 1st ever... gonna collect all... X'mas coming!!! can someone get me more little apple dolls? i wan Sine~ i wan the serie 1, serie 2 and limited edition... aiya, i wan all lah... gonna go create a little plc for them... my very own inbetween... love it like hell~ *muack* i wan more~

get me the serie 1~~~

show off my visa debit mini~ cute! hehe~ jus to show off~

my greatest desicion... something of a life time~ my tarot... nicely arrange and beautiful design DIY box! hehe~

nicely drawn by me... with pentacle and protection spell to protect it from itchy hands and fingers~

a little space for my dear tarot~ with spells again to protect it from black magick... need to design it agn~

my Shi Fu, timothy~! at our fav chill out plc, PS mac~ dun gif mi tat face!

tat's wat his hobby i perphaps~

is it dophline or shark?

accompany someone close for a tatto session...

what can i say, it sound scarier den it seems... everyong will be asking, is it pain? i will say... not really tat much as u thought... the pain is somehow bearable... the more fleshy won't feel tat pain... sensitive area like u noe tat plc, and neck, rib, hands and feets will feel more painful... and less sensitive one and fleshy plc are butt, arms area... how much it cost? my this close one had it at $350, plam size... ex?! its not k~ i did my eyebrow for $500 k!!! and its more painful, for sure~

She wan it on her BUTT! haha~ the cool tatto man doing his job... lucky tat BUTT is not tat fantastic! seriously, its not tat pain according to my witness and my close one... she actually was like so anxious and so frighten, tat she keep on asking the tattoo man to inform her when he abt to start, and she grab the chair like hell... but when the needle poke her skin... haha~ i still rmb tat face... was like... 'chey!!!' haha~ den she relax herself and give gif me tat look as if its not pain at all... jus tat it really take so long...

a Dophline...

or a shark?
cool rite?! COPYRIGHT RESERVE HOR!!!

**Dinner @ No Sign Board Seafood**

jus a picture blog~ will be posting alot of yummy food...

tat was like a few mths back, have really no time to put them up...

dinner @ Geylang No Sign Board... daddy & mummy's treat!!! strike 4D, but i guess the money had all dun noe gone where! is our standard of living too high or we r jus spending too much?! haha~

the famous and crowded no sign board restaurant~

The menu~ yummy foods~ *saliva drip**

bosses of the day~

Settle down at table 19!

me freaking without make up! OMG!!! lucky no pimples at tat time~ haha~

sis~ bz with tat menu~

wat u call this, 'xiang ba pang', promotional item... cos its far too ex... cost ard $80 for one plate~ But its nice definitly, at least me and sis love it~

my choice, my choice... LOSTER SALAD!!! wow~ its ultimate cool~

and tat's daddy's choice, 'doa tao'... yum yum too~

mummy's choice, deer's meat (direct translation)... dun be frighten by the name, its fabulous!

Cereal prawn... my choice also~

the main lead~ MAIN LEAD!!! CHILLI CRAB!!! u noe whose choice again~ haha~ but its really delicious, no doubt... i simply go crazy having tat~ OMG! make me crave for seafood anot~ look forward to my tml JB trip and also my x'mas dinner at godbro hse~!

Lastly, we finish them up in no time~ there goes my diet plan~ :'(

战神

Jus finish watching the whole series of 战神... wat can i say... one great show to catch... not much abt bike racing as wat the cover show... but this show deal mainly wif the kind of evil that we have which in fact we dun noe others are having the same thinking as us... a great show for me in a way lah, i kind of see the link between my tots and the kind of thinking the character have... of cos, the love story between the 2 main lead... it might be wat gers jus wish of... the sacrifices and reassurance, make it unlike other shows, which u will curse and swear at the main lead for not able to express themselves, saying wat they wan to each other... However, the story line will make ur brain crack, challenge ur mind...

talking abt the artists, zai zai, really worth watching... this time rd, he is no longer tat 《流星花园》的 '類' who speak softly, seldom laugh, quiet and prince look... unlike 《贫穷贵公子》 where the poor '太郎' can get so bloody excited over $1 coin... now in 战神, vic actually act as a playboy cum gangster, 零, the typical yandao ah beng where u can find in sch... riding a bike everywhere he go, as all the female classmate go gaga over him... an ultimate playboy who go steady jus for the sake of sex, flirting ard wif gers... and i can definitly say, he look/act so differently from the 2 previous series, and of cos an improvement seen... the only problem is still his language, okay... not everyone is perfect, so dun expect... but i really hav problem catching his words... haha~

for Da S, hmmm~ she act as a ger (绮锣) who is strongly affected by her past experience that made her unable to communicate wif other, a very weak and soft lady, who keep quiet even if others try to bully her... in this show, Da S were to act as a very soft-spoken quiet ger, which is completely differ from '杉菜', where she will protect her fren in all means... This time rd, she is the one been protected...

nice show to catch anyway...

here's one of my fav song from the show...

歌曲：说爱我
歌手：梁一贞 专辑：战神插曲

我的眼睛并不向往另一片天空

禁止进入爱情是我说的

谁也听不见这种孤单真可怜

多爱一次就多些寂寞

你为什么还是不懂我要的自由

一句话就让你离我远了

别让我以为快乐最后会粉碎

人最孤单的时候绝不会掉眼泪

说爱我在我的耳边对我说

我已经真的太久忘了这种心动

爱太难了解了我们还看不懂

那一些心酸快乐有多少还很真呢

说爱我用你的手心温暖我

就算你不能证明爱我能爱多久

我知道你想躲我要的并不多

一起看天空好吗最后一分钟

一起看天空好吗最后爱我

说爱我

Uncertainty Ahead

too much uncertainty... at times, i dun really noe wat am i doing here on earth... my dreams? my goals? If one day i were to be call home by god and goddess, anything that i can't let go? anything that i will miss? anything tat i can't bear to leave behind? will i argue that i hav not been through wat i should, not the time to go yet..? will i...? for now, i think death is not a way out, to commit suicide or wat is jus a irresponsible chilish tots....for in, god dun wan u yet... imagine when u try to get into somewhere u dun belong to, normally ppl will chase u out... same goes to heaven... heaven won't entertain ppl who try to go in without permission, without been invite...

To be call home by god, mean a relieve from all unwanted... Heaven is a plc for good ones... its always gd to be wanted there... Fear, fear of death, wat there to fear of? an unknown plc one will be gng to... i'm fear too, fear the pain that i'll go through before death step in... To die peaceful is a bless indeed... see the amount of ppl who died quietly, beautifully... will i be one of those? When will i be wanted? I'm waiting and i'm counting my days toward god... Earth is close to hopeless... human - mind are stained, tots are dirty, breath stink and heart are cold... Being a human being is difficult, being a women is even worse...

ok~ tat's all abt death... y do i come to this out of sudden and also get my blog back to this suicidal skin~ nth abt wanting to commit suicide cos i alway tot tat commiting suicide is a selfish act and definitly not a way to escape frm trouble~ all i ask for is jus god to bring mi away... actually, its nth unsual abt me... cos if u really noe, i had this thinking since sometimes ago... life dun appear to be tat wonderful for me... nth in this earth is tiggering mi to continue... life had become so worthless...

Life still goes on

Finally, get my blog back to wat it use to be...

many things happen lately... not worth mentioning at all... but surprisely, even i myself dun understand how i manage to put all these aside jus so fast... not tat it din affect me but in deed it affect me so much... jus tat i choose not to say, not to show... but still i'm not totally alone... there's still ppl ard who noe everything... memories still haunt me as usual, wound still hav not recover fully... but life goes on... maybe going into a diff way... stronger again, but a little more timid again... mindset change, thinking change... its still better to be alone perphaps... and i guess i need no one to fill up my empty space anymore, i dun noe abt future, but at least not at the moment...

a no. of things happening recently... good and bad... not to mention abt the bad ones... celebrated my bday wif gao mei, pei, they all... a very wonderful day, something which i nv expect so much... pampered by my buddy brothers... ah kai, siquan, singing songs for me... not to forget wee and my little 'an zai'~ took a couple of pic wif pei and shu... gonna post it at a later time....

took 2 day mc on my bday... mit up wif rafi and fendy on my bday for dinner at a turkrish restaurant @ shaw... nice food but! ulitmate full~ always trying new food wif fendy and rafi ard... den mit up wif tim the day after... after much influence and consideration... i bought a set of tarot! still at beginner stage! working hard on it... took a pic of my darling cards, gonna post it up soon... and am into wicca, doing my self-study on it... been hanging out wif tim recently, jus alot to share wif him i perphaps... was doing cleansing ritual on our tarot at east coast some times ago... checking out on each other's reference book and cards and having some discussion at ECP mac... was searching for someone to do reading on him/her, so i can look at how others interpret... den a grp of guys walk past and one of them actually look in and seem so interested... so i jus ask him to come in and join us... jus so, we made frens... cool~ nv expect to gif strangers reading and making fren at such places and under some situation... cool~ haha... not to go into details abt the readings...

mit up wif wilson for lunch at suki, realize tat all my fren made there had been transfer out... so sad... will not go back like how i do last time liao... mit up wif tim again last sat, this time rd, i'm doing reading for my teacher... i so call succeeded... can sense tat my tarot is improving... satisfy wif my result...we do reading, toking abt some paranormal issue, and some life experience and ya... get to noe his fren gerald and through him i found some BIG SECRET!!! haha... his fren left us 1st, and the 2 of us jus chat and so on all th way till 7am!!! when i got home, my mum jus woke up and comment tat i'm coming home so "EARLY"... haha~

mit up wif fendy and rafi again to beach rd for soup dulan, this time rd, asharf and amizan were wif us too... after dinner, we went over to geylang serai to jalan jalan... OMG! plenty of ppl sia... ultimate crowded... scary! i went there almost every lunch time, but i nv experience such crowd b4... scary! after jalan, go over to orchard tp mi up wif tim and mun.. went to catch exorism of emily rose... nice show! with the mobile bible, tim, wif us... clear our doubt while watching the show... den mit up again yesterday... was suppose to catch a movie but call off the idea as not much show to watch liao... go for dinner den slack ard... tok cock all the way... bought a jisaw, libra... very nice... love being born under libra.... if i were to tell everything in detail, guess i'll hav to spend days typing...

SiMpLy CaN't LiVe wIthOuT

tried so hard to forget someone... making myself busy... wan my life back...

took a couple of pics wif ash boi... but realized tat... i'm so so ugly... dark eye circle is so obvious... is it my concealor? or is it the condition is getting worse? or is it becos of the long hrs sitting in front of PC? sad sad~ looking at my face, even more sad...


Guess the last one is the best out of all....

i wan my smile back... miss a lot of ppl... miss a lot of thing...

missing tricia, ever since she enter her cabin crew job, she had not mit up wif mi... miss her so much... wan to tell her a lot of things and also wan to listen to her everything... wanna see her new look...

missing shumei, its been so bloody long since i last met up wif her... wat to do, she bz preparing for her exams....

missing wilson, my best best brother... who i been taking advantage of... feel so bad tat i hav taken him for granted at times, i even tell him straight into his face tat i'm taking him for granted... but he nv give up doting mi, taking care of mi... he's having NS, i can't probably wan he to appear in front of mi as and when i like... but he tried his best... and i noe he will definitly be one of those rare ppl who will rmb my bday and won't forget tat expensive present...

missing my abangs... rafi, koon, fendy, fazli... miss them so so much... had not seen them for so so long... i'm so bad, BAD! they still as concern, still call mi up and chat wif mi... gonna go back during their mass check out period...

missing my mid-nite kakis, mun hong and tim... u will easily spot the 3 of us on weekend... our nv ending list of movies to catch... sorry tat i had rejected the offer last sat cos of my 'not feeling well' state... this sat is set!

missing my clubbing days, clubbing wif dewei sister.... miss the days so much... the time when we and kieth to cocco latte, wif tim and mun hong to china black... ever since he enter NAFA... hai....

am gng on diet... not progressing as fast as expected... gng to take meal replacement... gif myself a week of solid diet and see how much i can lost...

gonna get myself a cool hair highlighting.... time, i need time... and i'm running out of it....

counting my days... turning into 20 in like less den 2 weeks... life is still as per normal... nth special or rather nth great abt turning 20, not as i expected... life will not be as sux if i dun get to noe him... but life still goes on... finally i had make the decision to throw away all this nonsense... read all the sms-es that been storing in my hp for the last time... and delete all at once... telling myself its a full stop... no more him, only myself and me... i dun need anyone... tears had run dried, heart had been hurt... nth much i can do, now there's only me and myself left... life still goes on... and i noe memories will fade away one day... all it takes is jus times...

歌曲：囚鸟 歌手：彭羚

我是被你囚禁的鸟
已经忘了天有多高
如果离开你给我的小小城堡
不知还有谁能依靠

我是被你囚禁的鸟
得到的爱越来越少
看着你的笑在别人眼中燃烧
我却要不到一个拥抱

我像是一个你可有可无的影子
冷冷的看着你说谎的样子
这撩乱的城市容不下我的痴
是什么让你这样迷恋这样的放肆

我像是一个你可有可无的影子
和寂寞交换着悲伤的心事
对爱无计可施
这无味的日子
眼泪是唯一的奢侈

我的眼泪是唯一的奢侈

DrIfTeD ApArT

i'M iN pAiN...
I cAn BrEaTh nO MoRe...
ThInGs HaV ChAnGe...
NoT LiKe It UsEd To Be...
NoT LiKe WaT I WaNt iT To bE...

歌曲：爱我的资格 歌手：S.H.E

把手放了
我也许会比较快乐
我也许会换个情人
我也许不会再撑

真的够了
能不能让雨别再下了
能不能让心别再疼了
能不能不要开灯

我们的爱跟着你写的剧本
出现了越来越多的角色
我是你什么人
如果不是情人
是不是不要再浪费我的人生
你比我更清楚

你对我多好
多温柔多认真
不构成爱我的资格
除非你只看着我
想着我只有我
爱本来就该独一无二

为你伤心多一点少一点
流下的眼泪都一样不值得
世界上那么多人
只有我一个人
能拯救自己的快乐
不要再为你哭了

Haunt by ECZEMA

OH MY GOD! i'm suffering frm eczema... though not tat serve but it still affect my daily life~ hai~

introduce eczema....

a form of skin diease... itch and after scratch, it will produce a kind of liquid... and tat's the one tat cause it to get worse... and it will become dry and black... EEEeee~

been suffering from this since i'm young but it still not tat serious at tat moment.... only until when i start my attachment, it got worse... and it itch everyday.... it stop ard 4 mths later... and now its back agn... wen to consult a doc ard 3 weeks ago... given some medi but no cream to apply... yesterday wake up at 4am, jus to scratch the rashes... OMG... its really killing me~ can't slp... only until my neck was abt to broke into 2, i apply something like 'mopiko'... den i can slp soundly... when can i stop the itch! and pls... drinking alcohol will make it itch agn... sad...

anyway, today is not a gd day.... a lot of stupid thing happen... been push to be the middle man... hai~ person-in-charge kuku, customer also kuku.... sian... technicians also kuku... even executive also kuku.... guess the whole office i can only tok to juanna, the most reliable among all... hate it sia... make mi miss pgp agn... life there are better, at least not all tech are so shitty.... good at playing 'tai-ji'... even the executive are good... hai~ here all ppl are having 'yellow heart' (ren xin huang huang)~ shit sia~

歌曲：原来你什么都不想要 歌手：张惠妹

我知道这样不好
也知道你的爱只能那么少
我只有不停地要要到你想逃
泪湿的枕头晒干就好
眼泪在你的心里只是无理取闹
以为在你身后是我我一辈子的骄傲
原来你什么都不想要

我不要你的呵护你的玫瑰
只要你好好久久爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好贪心也好
哪个女人对爱不自私不奢望

我不要你的承诺
不要你的永远
只要你真真切切爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好贪心也好
最怕你把沉默当做对我的回答

原来你什么都不想要

~Chill Out~

some usual daily update....

Sat nite wif xiao mun and Tim:

met mun at 7pm for dinner b4 tim finish his church session~ bought my anna sui's nail polish 125, cost mi $22... big spender... hai~ too bad, cos juanna's sis can't help mi wif the value offer liao as airport no longer bring in anna sui products... and worse, Isetan only hav tat point card, no further discount... robinson only credit card which i can't afford... seiyu no long carry tat brand and OG which i hav the privilledge nv carry tat brand b4... so... got it without offer... hai~ guess i really hav to sign up for NETS reward since i been using NETS for almost all my payment... BUT! wasted sia... most of my high value NETS receipt had jus been threw away~

enough of all those... been walking ard parkway, dun noe wat to eat... wat to do, when 2 indecisive person mit up for dinner... haha... is it crystal jade? fish & co? sweasen? suki sushi? or pasta mania? end up gng sweasen... as wat i said, we r 2 indecisive person... it take some times for us to settle wif our orders... mun: spicy seafood pasta or crayfish pasta? mi: sirilon steak or spicy seafood pasta... finally, mun's crayfish pasta is here and also my black pepper sirilon steak... not a gd choice... hai~

while waiting for our dinner to be serve... i caught hold of mun's ultimate hp... haha~

rmb the time when he laugh at my N8310 while my GD88 is sent for repair services which took 2 mths... now its my turn...

and tat's the way he tried to hide his botak head! haha~ vain pot! he shout at me when i tried to take it off... haha~

after eating, as usual when i'm in parkway, i'll go for my fav mocha ice cream, low in fat, low in sugar~ yeah~ seems like not much ppl can take tat 'mocah-ish' taste, but i jus can't resist the temptation~ and we move on heading kbox... OMG! nv nv nv go ktv during sat nite... its $21+++ per person from 7pm to 12am only... and worse we reach there at ard 9pm, the charges is the same and only if there's no reservation after 12am den we can continue till 3am... EX EX too EX... we drop the idea... since i got my party world's bday voucher but can only use during the mth of Oct~ we waited for Tim... and plan where could we spend our nite at~ nite life in sg is limited and ex! its either KTV, Clubbing, Movie or jus simply slack~ but definitly we dun really enjoy slacking... KTV is jus too ex~ clubbing, mun is down wif cough, not a gd day to club~
i found myself rolling on the floor laughing away when i saw Tim with his ultimate hairdo~

haha~ ok, not to tat extend of rolling on the floor, but i ju burst into laughter..

Jus too nerdy!

we headed PS for our late nite movie, guess its the best choice out of all... and agn, we choose between red shoes, brother grimm or the myth...? was suppose to watch red shoes BUT i guess i hav grew older and i can't stand tat fear of been scar every 5 to 10 mins... some more its 12mn~ haha~ i'm not gng to spend $9.50 to scar the hell out of myself... so we decide to watch Jackie Chan's 'the Myth'... too limited movie to choose frm... waiting for Oct, nice show will be out by the time... like... 'corspe bride', 'deuce bigolo', 'skeleton key', and alot more.... seems like i'll be spending alot of money on movie for the next coming mth...

snap mun's botak head finally while in cinema waiting for the show to start... firece huh~

overall, a nice show... recommended~ storyline is gd... not boring at all, cos i din dozed off~ haha... not much to say abt... anyway, a nice show... must watch!

after watching, we left for home...

Took pic of tim and mun on PS's very own 'xing guang da dao'~ haha~

jus more pic~

dinner wif michelle @ sweasen after work on a friday~


Kboxing wif wilson~

Botak acting Jay Chou?! *puke* haha~

K-boxing wif dewei, some times back...

wow~ he sing wif emotions~ haha~

My new hair style~

the side~

the back... very wavy huh~

my front view~
BUT i guess i can style it better~ dun believe~ haha~ prove u wrong!

stylo leh... but look firece huh~ haha~ true goth... so evil~

the same usual sweet, cute, loving me... with my Dolly EYES! haha~ dun *puke*! no one is suppose to... haha~