Opps! can i.... take my words back?!

opps! hehe~ well... i'm fine le... ppl NO DOUBT, DESOLO is BACK... i gonna crap my way thru' again... start the so called 'bimbo blog'... flood wif my pics... and start my SELF-OBSESSION!!!

hmmm... pls pls pls... dun read my previous entry can? i wanna take my words back k... well... hmm... not tat jerky afterall lah... back to frens... DeSoLo is a frenly soul... OMG! love myself! ENOUGH! so... thanks my love ones... so concern abt me... i'm fine le... recovery to 100%!!! WOW~ lots of pics to upload.... *GOSH* running out of time... rushing for my KTV wif my niang-niangS.... tata~ stay tune!

He's Jus Another Bloody JERK

oh gosh... i'm piss, fucking piss! i'm over it completely... wat the hell problem abt human beings eh?! JERK! i dun wanna hate or pissed over anyone... but y do they hav to do such thing to provoke me! its so freaking fuck up... jus do a little check on frenster and msn block... i'm freaking pissed off! wow biang... tell u guys all my ex are JERKS...

can nv be frens one leh... i'm here trying to keep things frenly, and he there trying to thrash things further... and ya, wat u expect happens! when i mention frenster and msn block... u get it... FUCK! its an insult, a total insult to me... not as in i betray him, i hav a arguement wif him k... do he hav to insult me tat way! a JERK! totally pissed off... if we had a arguement den i really bo wei gong lor, but its like we din! and come on, i should be the one doing such thing lor... y make it so ugly and so fuck up... cb lah...

*relax* DeSoLo simply can't stand insult... ever after austin, i dun allow anyone to insult me... and ya... fuck! its karma and i knew it will come one day... and ya, it came... but DeSoLo won't cry this time, she up fighting, revenge-ful or wat, its ok... insult is really jus too much for me... and i nv did anything wrong... if its other guys, i dun mind, cos i noe, i'm quite ruthless to them lah...

but afterall... no one can really read my mind except my 3 gers... wats up my sleeves? u wanna noe?

pray for me... all my cursing works! opps =X thanks god, am out of it, jus so soon, one week... mind, heart and body... my mind matters the most to me, still... i seems to hear my mind laughing at my heart... OMG! my heart learn... and its abit cold now... princess dun exsist, fairy tales dun exsist, fairy sad...



i wan a fairy too... to guild me and protect me from evil... on diet plan agn...

off to bintan next weekend, to rebuild myself... bath my self in the nature of sun, moon and sea... wooo hooo... i gonna be tan when i get back... *sizziling* pls no delay to my plan... *diet*diet*... gif mi 2 more mths... by my 21st, i must hit my target~!

Everything seems to look so perfect

歌曲：离开我
歌手：陶晶莹

我把你的电话从手机里消除了
我把你的消息从话题里减少了
我把你的味道用香水喷掉了
我把你的照片用全家福挡住了
你让我的懂事变成一种幼稚
你让我的骄傲觉得很无知
你让我的朋友关心我的生活
你让我的软弱陪伴你的自由
离开我你会不会好一点
离开你什么事都难一点
车来了坐上你的明天
车走了我还站在路边
离开你你会不会好一点
离开你什么事都难一点
风来了云就会少一点
你走了我住在雨里面

==============================

Am beginning to go into DeSoLoGY agn... taking all wat i see, all wat i experience, all wat i hear as a experiment... in another word, start exploring abt complicated human mind...

Feedback from ppl who noe me... they find me very mysterious wif my thinking... so obvious tat i'm thinking abt something but i jus won't say it out, until i really trust and noe tat person tat well... am over-sensitive... somehow a gd thing and a bad thing... gd, i can easily sense the change of mood in anyone, but depend on if i wanna react or not... bad, cos i'm thinking too much... i concentrade too much on the consequences and outcome den too enjoy the current, enjoy wat i hav and i noe rite now... concerning of consequence cos i dun like taking risk nor regret... sensitive - i noe wat to say and wat not to, i noe how to make u happy and also noe how to trash u...

I always think am a very bad example, very complicated person, vey hard to handle... perphaps guys who been wif me b4, they can sense it... i treat frens and lovers very differently... i draw a clear line... be my fren will be a bliss, be my guy will be a torture... cos i dun like promise and commitment... maybe 'i love you' can easily be said, be mention, but for me... its hard... even if i'm wif some guy, doesn't mean i LOVE tat person, definitly i like him, but not love him.. love to mi is even more complex, not abt jus giving status, but abt commitment. and to mi commitment is something cannot be break... its jus as serious... ppl who said those word, and bk it, should simply go to hell... its an insult... even simple things like, u actually promise ur fren to watch movie, den u last min not gng, its also a sin... its very rude... pls respect urself, respect others, respect wat u urself had said...

being my fren is a bliss... i dun expect much from my fren, as long as we click, u care for me and i concern abt u... i love wat u do and u love who i am, tat's it, jus so simple... frens might fall out when ur hav conflicts and so... but fren won't tell u something like... 'sorry, cos my other best fren really needs me, so i can't be fren wif u...' tat explain y DeSoLo treasure her gers so much...

Sometimes human beings jus sux! u simply can't differentiate between truth and lies... contradicting animals... like ur cheerful, but den they brought tears to this smiling face and brought pains to this cheerful life... they can be so angelic but turn into devil anytime... i myself is a devil too... well...

Symptoms of DeSoLo Recovery

1. When DeSoLo start wearing her assessories (pendent, bracelet, etc)
2. When DeSoLo start looking into mirrors constanly
3. When DeSoLo wears perfume
4. When DeSoLo Put on a full make up - wif blush, mascara, lip gloss.
5. When DeSoLo start smiling
6. When DeSoLo start blasting R&B into her ears
7. When DeSoLo stop singing those heartbreaking chinese love songs
8. When DeSoLo don't go beach or riverside as often
9. When DeSoLo start taking photo
10. When DeSoLo start posting pics in her blog
11. When DeSoLo change her current blog skin back to the previous gothic lady skin
12. When DeSoLo walk wif her head up and start giving ppl this egotistic bitch attitude
13. When DeSoLo back to her Narcissism
14. When DeSoLo start bitching abt how other act and dress up
15. When DeSoLo start mention abt her studies and career planning
16. When DeSoLo start spending more time at home
17. When DeSoLo change her msn nick
18. When DeSoLo start shopping
19. When DeSoLo start having her Hokkien Mee crave
20. When DeSoLo love and enjoy slping

Wonder how many hav i hit? I'm building back myself... very soon...

But somehow i noe... i'll nv eat Teriyaki Chicken anymore...

===========================

Title : Almost Over You
Artist : Lila McCann

I saw an old friend of ours today
She asked about you and I didn't quite know what to say
Heard you've been making the rounds 'round here
While I've been trying to make tears disappear

(chorus)
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
I'm almost over you

You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
For you leavin' came easy but it tore me apart
Time heals all wounds they say and I should know
'Cause it seems like forever, but I'm letting you go
(repeat chorus)

I can forgive you and soon I'll forget all my shattered dreams
You took the love that you wanted and left me the misery
(repeat chorus)

Give Me A Little More Time

its been 4 days... i'm getting better... out of a sudden my blog become so miserable... i really having alot alot of doubts that i wish to clarify, but still i do not hav the courage to... y? afraid of getting the ans maybe... afraid tat the ans is not wat i expect which leads to further disappointment... afraid tat the ans is jus wat i expect which leads to further regret... i noe i'm behaving like an ostrich at times... in fact, i been behave like one since long ago, long b4 i even met him, b4 i even met somebody... Sometime i seems to be hiding my thoughts cos i dun wanna be a nuisane, i dun wanna suffer from loss...

I appear to be strong cos i choose to be... the thing i told everyone : Body, mind and heart... body is the shell, is nth... Mind is the one that noe wat is right and wat is wrong... Heart is the one tat noe ur true feeling, wat u wan and desire for... So... ur heart is stronger or ur mind is stronger..? for me, my mind is stronger, cos there's too many things in life tat i wan and there's ppl who depends on me... i can't afford to let them down... i hav no tears when it come to r/s... i jus realize, its been quite some times when i cried cos of bk-up, cos of r/s heartbk... i been controlling myself, which wat my mind is doing... Somehow i neglect my heart, and tat explain my depression. i din drop a tear even when i receive the msg, even on the very night, at the very moment... i feel frustrated and no tears at all... until the time when i choose to blog it out, i face my heart and release my pain... and i start crying out loud... After so long, i untied it and let it breath... i'm feeling better somehow... but i can't lied tat i still hate slping... no more nightmare, i can slp pretty well, but i hate the moment when i wake up... i feel a sense of loss, its too terrible... i love nite and i dislike morning... morning should be a fresh but it bring me back to my heart and feel alittle painful... in the nite, my mind get working and knowing tat i hav far more important things awaiting for me, and there r ppl more miserable den me... but still i can't deny my heart at times... i'm really tired, both mentally and physically... i seriously need a bk... somewhere where there's only sun, mood, sea and no cars, no high rise building, no stress and busy life... and 1 or 2 really close buddies...

met Tricia yesterday... was chatting abt her problems... she told me, everytime she read my blog, she feel so envy... envy tat i lead a happy single life... i know i disappoint a few ppl... ppl who care, ppl who read me, ppl who know me as a loveless strong person, ppl who depends on me, ppl who envy me, ppl who love DeSoLo... the person who i disappoint the most is myself... i noe wat i should do and wat i shouldn't, but i din do much enough to control the situation, i noe i shouldn't hav start it, shouldn't hav accept it, shouldn't hav believe in it, should hav stay put as jus a fren and only a fren... but i jus din resist myself from all these...

last time i choose not to confess, cos i afraid of losing, now i choose not to confess, cos i afraid of getting... not tat i dun fight, jus tat i dare not fight... dun bless me wif a better guy, but bless me wif no love... i'm serious...

---------------------------------------

歌曲：天灰
歌手：S.H.E

如果你不再出现
我的世界还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验什么叫永远
想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁

太多疑问知道答案又如何

歌曲：真实
歌手：张惠妹

你说的话在我心中生了根
爱得很深所以心很疼
记忆在我的心中翻滚
是不是每一个人
都像我一样笨
只怕再问对彼此都太残忍
我能感觉另外一个人
我等等笑容换成泪痕
爱在崩溃的时候比较真
太多疑问知道答案又如何
原来容忍不需要天份
只要爱错一个人
心痛比快乐更真实
爱为何这样的讽刺
我忘了这是第几次
一见你就无法坚持
孤独比拥抱更真实
爱让人失去了理智
会不会是我太自私
拒绝更寂寞的日子
放不开也看不见未来
难道这种不完美
才是爱情真实的样子

------------------------------------

I'm fine... alot better... i'm not expecting anymore... but still... i wish...

自我催眠

I've nv blame u and i'll nv blame u... cos i will do the same if i were u... i tot it thru'... but i'm still in pain... maybe to feel such pain is a gd thing for me... cos tat's the time when i can really face my own 'self', face my true 'self' rather den acting strong, puting up a strong front and let my mind control my heart... this time rd i choose to let my heart do the griefing... so tat i won't be like a living zombie... scar will still be there forever... and forgive me that i'll nv believe agn... nth in this world is garantee... especially when it matters wif human emotion... human mind changes... assurance won't last...

很多很多的遗憾...

one day i'll be fine... i know... jus that i'm not sure when will tat one day be...

----------------------------------------

歌曲：自我催眠
歌手：罗志祥

人群里面那个我把幸福遗落
那曾经走过的路口我停了你却走
我想捂住我的耳朵听不见你说
爱就在此刻松手分手放手
我猜不透不猜透
和你背对背的走
原来怪我没有
没有爱情的天分你才要走
我想要学会自我催眠
痛觉会少一些
潜意识作祟想着想到失眠
我躺在没有你的房间
寂寞更加明显
我渐渐的自我催眠
却回不到从前
等着红灯那个我还会向前走
也许那幸福的执着在下一个路口
专属铃声我还留着却静静沉默
在我们之间爱了放了散了
我会不说不想说
怕说了也没有用
现在我的幽默
只是掩饰着心痛我的难过
聪明再多一些
我走在没有你的世界
却走不到永远
慢慢闭上双眼

Torn

a very personal entry... i wish he could read this but... somehow even if he read it, even if he did feel something, i noe he not gonna do anything... i noe its the end... i noe he's wif her and not wif me... i noe he gonna let me go thru' these.... i noe... but i got to believe and i got to put the words down...

pain... very pain... a massive kind of impact to me... the thinking of you r actually on ur way to heaven and wif a blink of eyes, u found urself in falling into hell, in arms of devil... i'm not ok... very not...

first time in my life ever, i got sleepless nite and i mean it... i'm pysically tired but mentally awake... i spend my nite out wif Belle, with a heavy heart, a sunken soul... afterall god isn't tat bad to me, at least it happen when we jus jus begin, at least it happen when i'm not alone at home, if not i seriously can't imagine how i'll spend my nite...

well, y should the thing happen yesterday nite, y not in the morning, in the day b4, or day b4 we even decide, we even met, we even knew each other... i rmb every words i ever said, i rmb every words u ever told me... i should be the one making the choice... this weekend u should be mine, and am freaking at home heart-broken... i rmb u told me abt having trust in u... i rmb i told u i dun believe in love, love is jus fake hopes... i rmb how u assure me abt love... i rmb i told u not to rush into things, cos we dun really noe each other tat well... i still rmb how u assure me tat its not jus a temperary crush... i still rmb jus alittle too much... ya, u go when she needs u... and u break it when i need u too... i'm a women, i'm not always tat strong... i wonder how u manage to do it, wif a snap of fingers, u forgot watsoever u told and assure me jus becos she needs u agn... i couldn't slp... i'm lying on my bed, wif my eyes close, from 5am to 6 am, am awake, my heart feels heavy, my hearts is still racing fast... i fall aslp at 6+, i awake in less den half an hour... i hav meaningless nitemare tat hunting me somehow, i couldn't slp agn... i fall aslp agn @ 7++, i awake in less den half an hr agn... its 8am in the morning, and am awake, i try to slp, but i heard sound, i jus couldn't fall aslp... i hav a chat wif my ger, and try to slp agn at 2, i awake at 3 and here i am blogging wats in my mind... i feel sick in within my body, no appettite, my stomach feels bloated and i feel jus so sick tat i dun even feel like drinking water... i feel so disgusted wif everything... not craving at all, jus feeling empty... y do i allow myself to go into such situation agn... i hate love... love simply sux!

maybe ya, everyone in this world who knows u, will ask u to go wif her, since we jus begin, since everything has jus started not long ago, since we isn't stable yet... since u still concern so much abt her... since she do still stand a plc in ur heart... but... who can share my bitterness... i'm suffering inside... anyone cares a tot for me? anyone? i'm a women too, i'm in pain too... i'm a human being wif blood and flesh, am not a siant, am not a god... i may not choose to end my life jus for this, but do ur understand? there will be a impact on me... how am i gng to believe in anyone in the future? how am i gng to step into relationship agn

even b4 knowing him, i'm already torn, i already lost trust... y gif mi hopes and thrash it like nobody biz...i finally drop my tears after so long, until i wrote these words and i reflect... ur be fair to them, anyone can be fair to me?

i tot i had found my potential, i'm ready to do as my part... but the choice is not on me now... dissapointed... ya... am very... but other den tat, wat else can i do? when love isn't consider part of my life, part of my aim.... u enter my life, u leave jus like tat... i noe u too are facing a difficult challenge... i noe u gonna let go of us, let go of me... perphaps till now am still wishing for a turn, a turn in this situation... but i noe its the end... i still couldn't let it go... i noe u... u hav chosen her, u will be true to her and only her... and u will be cruel to me... i'll received my death sentence from u... i noe... i noe it too well... i'm not a fighter, i dun noe abt fighting, fighting my fate, fighting wat is arrange for me, fighting for wat i wan... and i know... no use fighting... u r already gone, ur heart is already not wif mi... afterall i'm cursed, cursed since birth, i dun blame u... things happen wif a reason... its not ur fault, its fate... its life, its already arrange b4 i even come to this world... DeSoLo is always DeSoLo, abandoned by fate... life move on i noe... it will recover i noe... but... wound might recover but the scar will always be there... Love, trust, believe is jus too profound for me... i'm fated to lose them for tis life time... Once might be jus coincidence, but when it happen twice in my 20 yr old life, u knew its hinting something... i lost it, my love, my trust, my believe, it dun even exsist in my life... i need a break... i'm TORN....

--------------------------------------------------------
Title: Torn
Artist: Natalie Imbruglia

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn’t be that man that I adored
You don’t seem to know, or seem to care what your heart is for
I don’t know him anymore

There's nothin' where he used to lie
Our conversation has run dry
That's what's goin' on
Nothing’s fine
I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins and now I don't care, I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch
I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

Torn...

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's goin' on
Nothing's right
I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am ashamed
Bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late
I'm already torn

Torn...

Oh...

Oh yeah, oh yeah...(repeating, fade out)
----------------------------------------------

DeSoLo Crying her heart out @ 1608hrs / 23rd of July 2006

Tell me how u manage to do all this... gif mi hopes and bring mi back to life, den broke my heart, thrash my dreams in jus so fast... Wat goes ard comes ard, do i seriously deserve all these? do i? can u help mi for the very last time? frozen my heart, numb it... its too hurting... and i hate it... There isn't potential... i chose u and i tot i'm right, i seriously do... but i'm wrong.... Dun ans me, dun pity me, jus hack care me, leave me bleeding....

p.s. i need a break, i need rest, bless me wif a peaceful mind...

I FREAK the HELL out of MYSELF

OMG... thanks to Mr Roy Chong... he brought me my greatest nightmare... he let mi realized...

1. The GREATEST SIN i ever did in my whole life...
2. MY MUM LIED TO ME!
3. I hav a bunch of DARING FRENS

guess wat is jus as bad... nth can be tat bad... sorry tat i hav to apologise to everyone who noe me... and sorry tat i hav to make this sin agn... so much sorry... i can nv forgive myself...

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OMG!!! the before and after done by My Roy!!!! my sin... to go out walking wif tat appearance when am 18!!!!

My mum lied cos she said tat i look gd at that time...

My daring fren!!! i dun need to explain further...

i seriously aware the sin tat i had made tat time... and i swear! i tried to change a little... well, alittle more... a little more funky... a little more hip... and i nv expect it to be...

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JIM CAREY!!! i swear... and ya~ make ur comparsion...

i seriously FREAK OUT and FAINT right in front of my OFFICE DESK!

u dun believe huh~!!! i show u how FREAK OUT i am...

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Opps! tat look more like my 'brother', oh ya, 'he' knew Tricia and Roy... haha~ and he's a drug addict! but... a moment... I DUN HAV A BROTHER!

p.s have a gd laugh... gonna do a recap real soon! more freaking pics!!! stay tune~

Are u Diagnosed with CB RASHES?!

OMG... jus hav to blog... nah... no pics... ya!!! a lot and i mean alot of pic to be uploaded but... jus Lazy... well, i slp only for only 2.5hr!!! i'm freaking TORN.... Tired... very tired.... and night still hav this gathering gng on... and its a MUST go, Nisa is back from aussie, hav to catch wif her b4 she left for her sch agn...

well, ya... as usual, the rudolf and the ding dong Rocks MoMo agn.... by rite, i went there to catch this grp of nbtc forum ppl... but den... i can regonise none of them... haha~ they hav this pool contest over there... but... everyone were more interested in MoMo SuperStar contest... haha~ well as usual... our routine is to mit at bugis, either mos burger, mac or the fountain... and yesterday was at mos burger... and our topic... hmmm... jus non-stop... we had so far touch on... family, future, bgr, frens, like and dislikes, love life, bad experience, sex, and yesterday was childhood... the worse thing u do during sec sch... like... those ah lian and bengs kinda things, and wat we did and wat we think of our past... and nv to go back to our past... our regret and everything... everytime we hav new thing to share and noe more abt each other and hence get closer~ haha~ and we decided to club every fortnightly... a slightly healthier lifestyle... healthier in term of health as well as pockets... haa... but of cos we will still mit up at least once every week...

anyway ya, momo addict... after both mi and trina declare as momo addict... i realized a few of my fren become one too... not to mention Belle, ya... she one ever since she get to noe me... haa... and... now PELE! he actually went to zouk without listen to my advice... btw, my advice was to ask him to come to momo instead of zouk... and haha... guess wat! zouk BORED him out! he simply jus slack at the table and can't move... haha~ oh no no... and he sms me and say like, influence by me, he feel so momo addict, like tired of other clubbing place... haha~ yeah! MoMo ROX... and ya! happen to see my sec sch frens... Shocking! saw Ah Pei and her bro, Ping and her bf, Kieth & his ger, and Jeff... OMG! so cool... din expect to see them there lor... haha~ and ya, saw my fren's ex too, grace... i think she becoming a MoMo addict too, but not influence by me lah... haha~ she been gng there quite often these few mths.... can u imagine i actually mo for half a yr liao... wow! so shock huh... haha~ i wonder how i gng to really let go of momo sia... nv and some more now wif belle, nah.... and if only Trina is here... yesterday b4 i even start dancing, i go crazy liao... a auto high kind... maybe cos of 2 weeks din club le... so longing and awaiting for it, make mi duper high over it lor... haha~ and ya, i keep Ki Siao! and belle was like -_-! 'ger, u alright anot?!' haha~ a gone case... and ya, she also ok... haha~ its seriously abt the company u go wif lah... a couples or a lorry of ppl, doesn't really matters... jus love it... ya, world cup ended and the clubbers are in the house, yesterday was duper crowded... Cash and Jackie were in too, but no dancing at pole area nor bar top... the pole area been conquer by the "SUPERSTAR"sss...

the song wasn't gd... so R&B 'oldies'... like... clap back, eyes on u, blah blah blah... and... NO 'BUTTONS'! NO 'HIPS DON'T LIE'! NO 'MY HUMP'! NO 'CONTROL MYSELF'! NO 'RUN IT'! not even dun phunk with my heart... OMG! its hell... only a 'BEEP' but... NOT ENOUGH!!! so... hate the songs... STOP all the 'oldies' pls... ARGH... abit of disappointment... hai~ and NO FREE RIDE HOME!!! angry! but still enjoy it, cos am wif BELLE... haha~

and ya... there's alot of CB itch & LJ itch ppl yesterday nite... very despo-ly horny... OMG! *faint*... the weird case i ever come across... not as in their action but tat total BITCH! noe wat... there's this 2 gers at the dance floor, dancing next to us and on their other side is 2 guy wif 'hum sep' look... well, the gers, one is plain and normal, the other is a total biatch who wear normal to me but sexy to herself maybe... y is she a TOTAL BIATCH?! come on... u noe DeSoLo, i always went momo wif either belle or trina and ya, only the 2 gers and we will protect each other by all means... and nv throw each other aside even if there's any cutie appoarch... and well... the biatch here... she was like dancing wif her ger fren... and b'cos of the 'heavy traffic', they r been separated... 1st thing, IF u love ur fren so much, u will keep an eyes on her and of cos u won't lost her, even if u do lost her, u will try all way to look for her, get panick, try calling her mobile... and she totally fucky! she was like 'acting' as if she's looking for her fren... and this 2 guys appoarch her... like asking her wat happen and ok, ya, she was AT FIRST telling them she can't find the fren, but next min... O_o" u see him flirting and seducing one of the guy, with u noe those kind of body rub body kind... wif the guy holding on to the ger waist... oh, i mean its pretty common lah... but! I TOT SHE WAS SUPPOSE TO LOOK FOR HER FREN?!!! FUCK! cb itch until so jialat meh?! She probably forgot abt her fren... but... wow biang! becos of a guy who she jus noe... and OMG! her FREN is a GER! and is ALONE! u noe how dangerous it can be when a ger is left alone in the club!!! and yet she can jus forget abt her... and while she Scratching her CB rashes by rubbing against the guy, she saw her LOST fren, i mean tat ger, she was like.. 'hi, this is so and so, blah blah blah', while she still RUBBING wif the guy! wow biang and completely HACK CARE her fren! OMG! even when she found her fren, he jus continue with her CB itch actions lor... kill tat women... if my fren is like tat! fuck her! i'll nv club wif her agn... i mean, she can club happily without me wat and more 'carefree' and she need no one to take care of her wat... sick leh this typical diagnosed wif CB RASHES kinda women... and she's the worse case! wow biang... this kinda ger not fit to hav any frens lor, she must as well go Geylang stand, can even earn money lor... BITCH! OMG! i'm over-reacting huh, now u see how much DeSoLo cherish frens... cool down cool down... Wooo... anyway, pls! u hav the right to flirt and go for some fucking BUT pls! Dun drag ur fren down and respect ur fren can! i seem much despoly horny ppl out there but none of them is as DISGUSTING... totally pissed... jus a note... she's not the cute little sweetie kind, neither is she a sexy hot mama kind... she's jus a plain, not slim build but fleshy kind, a little big size and act sexy kind... opps =X

enough of tat... lets tok abt something MAJOR!!! ASH BDAY COMING! on the 19th July... OMG! my boy is 3 yr old le... how times files... oh... love it so so much... its seems like he's always been wif me... i almost forgot how life use to be during the time when i din own him... haha~ OMG! my 3 yr old boy... so sweety... last yr i bought him to urban pooch for a meal... this yr, wat for him huh?! oh... A CHALET!!! HEY EVERYONE WHO READING THIS!!! U R INVITED TO MY DARLING ASH's BDAY!!!! sweat~ Siao ah! open a chalet! madness! haha~ ok ok... A BBQ... YEAH! Ash can't eat human BBQ FOOD! Faint~ haha~ well, someone offer to drive him out to beach on tat wed nite... hmmm... not so bad... but will he really do as he said... no promise... anyway, i'll definitly buy Ash a CAKE! haha... maybe should bring him out on sun, a celebration first in case wed planning isn't successful... and wats more, i hav more time for him on sunday, i hav to work on wed... anyway... still thinking... got to go get him a pressie first! tml... yeah! go shop for a toy for him, and get the cakes on tue... so i hav more time on wed... hee~ love my darling ash boy...

now... at this moment... i'm jus freaking tired *yawn*... i need to slp... am freaking without MAKE UP! OMG! ya, u din read it wrongly, am without make up, but wif sunglasses, even in office... haha~ PLS! i reach home at 4.30am, slp at 5am leh and need to work at 8.30am, so wat u think! and wat else, later when i reach home, i need to grab my important and wake up at 4.30pm to prepare myself for my poly mate dinner 'get-together' lor... if i were to make up... wow! its crazy! slp at 5am, wake up at 6.30am, reach home after work at earliest 1.30pm, remove make up and grab my slp at 2.30pm, den 4.30pm wake up! SIAO AH! must well dun slp! nah... and without make up, i save a total of 2 more hrs of slp... tat's alot i tell you... preparing to go home... tata~

You Know You Got Me HYPNOTIZED

Oh mine... who hypnotizing me?!... SSSShhh.....

anyway... well... boring daze i hav this days... took mc on tue... BO JIO! haha~ tat's wat i told roy, he take 2 days mc and he BO JIO... wahaha... Bo Jio me take mc... alamak! mc also hav to jio sia... faint... anyway, saw his posting... well... hmmm... i realized a pattern... nth goes smoothly... there must be a misunderstanding between good fren in order for them to proceed to the next level... take that as lessons... challenge, challenge to the human frenship... its very true... if u r able to face it, solve it, disolve it, u will be able to proceed to a deeper frenship... successful examples...

me & shu...
back to sec sch days... we hav some misunderstanding, or rather some body try to spoile our frenship and create some stupid misunderstanding for us... she called me and we tok things out... after tat... we r able to open uo to each other, openly accept each other's comments and so on...

me & Trina...
ya... the not so long ago issue... i actually misunderstood Trina as a unhelpful fren, and she get totally pissed off as She tot i or rather we had nv respect and listen to her... a total heartbroke for me... knowing that i'll always keep everything to myself, start my isolating agn, Trina called from aussie and tok me rd... after that i understand from her pt of view and know that she not wat i tot she is, and she do cherish the frenship as much... and ya, it got stronger! hehe~ and the utlimate dustbin sister... haha~

me & Roy
wow wow~ this guy here... haha... poly bud... so so so so so so many freaking loads of misunderstanding... well, only until recently, a few mths ago... bomb him wif all my doubt, all my thinkings and everything... haha~ and ya, i mean i did something rite, at least get my doubts clear and get to understand his thinking too... and hence, proceed on... we get closer... well... he got to be my better male bud among all... recalling... last time, i hav more guy fren huh, now more gers... life changes.... haha~

and freaking lots of examples ba... hoping tat mi and belle won't experience such thing cos i dun wan a downfall anymore... peace out can?!

and of cos a few tat dun turn out tat well...

me and XxXx!
one of my 'use to be' sec sch bestie... hav some how become the worse ever enemy i ever had... she might be an angel to u ppl out there but she definitly my worse demon! enough of her... if not, the story will go on non-stop... but... conflict can nv be solve...

mi and 'used to be' 'sister'
well, the lady he... guess ur might noe who he is... some conflict happen and none of us working hard enough to solve it... so... a pity or sad... but its already seasoned... time had past and ease the pain... for him or for me... but... he nv will be taken as a baddies to me, maybe a 'fren'... who noes, i can nv predict future...

thru' out these days... ppl come and go... circle of fren changes... alot of changes... even me start wondering... who will stay wif me for long?! no one noes... in fact, we shouldn't be thinking of all this, jus live and treasure every moments... anyway, i learn... learn to accept and love everyone ard me... trying to control my thinking, my temper, my way of handling things... trying so hard...


...someone got mi hypnotized?!.. so... is there still 'love' in me?! haha... we shall see...

Carl's Jr.

A very Meaty Entry... all abt carl jr, Voda Voda and Cannon Ixus I... haha~

well, a late posting too... met up wif MH, 3 weeks ago?! ard a mth ago... OMG! anyway... forgot our purpose of miting... hmmm... shopping?! YA YA! SHOPPING! he bought this AH BENG Tee... OMG! wif the kinda print which is 'so typical BENG tattoo'... haha~ and ya, rmb abt Trina's recommendation... VoDa VoDa... smooth, ma chiam drinking AIR! So we giv it a try...

The Legendary VODA VODA~

Happy over 2 bottles of Voda... Nah~ it turn out to be HELL~ but... after comfirmation wif Trina, I think... the one tat we bought are EXPIRED one! It TASTE SUX! and rmb i once taste it b4, its not tat bad... but now! the 2 tat he's holding, is HELL~!

My 2nd recommendation... CARL's JR.... it hav officially become one of my fav FAST FOOD... but... am on diet lah... so can't... Its dangerously Addictive!

Tat's MH's Bacon Cheese Burger...

Ya, my PortoBelle Mushroom Burger~! LOOK AT THE MUSHROOMSSSSSS, Its irresistable... am alway having the same thing, cos... a total addict! like... Ceasar Madness~! haha~ *so glutton* OMG! deep eye circle... SAD~

The leftover mess! YUMMY~ ARGHHHH>>> Am on DIET! URGHHHH....
and here come a series of my Cannon Ixus Tricks... haha~ thanks to Dewei... i begin to explore my cam-my~ and MH become my model agn...

A normal one~

The yellowish blur effect~

The Reddish Evening kind~

A darker one~

The Day Light BRIGHT kind~

The Black & White~

The Standard Sepia...

The Light Sepia + blur effect~
I also wanna try effects~

Black & White and Sepia~ OMG! A extremely zombie-like... OMG! DARK EYE CIRCLE!!! HELL~~~~

ok~ den follow by a few pic wif my BLOOD...

She my BLOOD... haha~ my sis... things are alittle out of control for her these days... a rather drastic changes, but she make it... move on and turn things better... Love her and proud of her really... MY BLOOD!

My own one~ hehe~ Suffering from NDS... No Dustbin Syndrome...

A devil Dustbin to end the post~ more dustbin sketches coming... for Trina's friendster testimonial collection... wahahaha~ i'm so crappy~ SWEET i mean~ haha~ *muack*

SuperBand

OMG! i really hav so fucking many tons of pic not uploaded... jialat jialat... i'm way behind time... *faint*

shall touch on this 'superband' performance tat i went to watch wif Dewei, mich and benny... hmmm... tat's so lucky to be Juz B's last performance... rather sad... cos i always like them so much... the way they sing, the way they perform and present every songs... as a grp of muslim, they can even sing chinese songs! and not to mention abt how smooth and soothing their singing is... BUT! they r OUT~! FUCK! hate it so so much... anyway, pic time first~


Let me present the grp, Dewei, Benny and Mich... ya, dewei is jus trying to act cool~

Mi and Mich... tat's how i look like after a MoMo Night~ haha~

the couple, Mich and Benny

look at DeWei's tat 'buay kei yan' face!

haha~ the joker... use to be my no. 1 gentleman... but due to his buzy schedule, he simply got no time to maintain the image... haha :p

The stage~ By right, no photography is allow~

Not forgetting to camwhore alittle b4 the show begin... and ya, nv miss out my pouting pose even with dark eye circles... Opps! =X

The 8 grp of finalist all on the stage~ tat's my best zoom i can do...
and here my 2 fav grp...

Juz B... simply love their performance tat nite, as usual soothing but with a little comical effect~ Singing 'Ye Lai Xiang'... Well, its a RETRO nite~!

And ShiNoBe... Love them too... they really powerful and ROCK! they can really bring on the crowd... and they love singing jay chou's rap songs.... hehe~ They r really gd at re-mixing the songs lor... nv let it turn out to be weird! and ya! tat guy is jus trying to act "THE MAID"~ haha~ singing 'Wo Deng Zhe Ni Hui Lai'...

BUT... both of them are out... make me seriously dun wanna watch SuperBand anymore... cos ya noe, this 2 grp jus makes mi wanna watch it and guess wat song they gonna present and how it gonna be... but now... no more le... sob sob... not gonna watch it anymore... and not gonna expecting who's in and who's out... MEANINGLESS liao... SIAN 1/2... jus love this 2 grp really much... sob sob...

My DustBin Called....

oh ok~ haha~ not been blogging.. well, too busy these days... been checking mail (non-stop)... *giggle*... cos... my dear dustbin mei is working FULL-TIME now... and her company network hav firewall, haha~ and poor ger can't online msn ya noe... and so we communicate thru' EMAILS! wow! exciting~ ma chiam 'fei ge chuan shu' but a faster speed~ hehe~ well, so happy, she called mi on monday... its been like so long since i last hav a fone chat wif her lor... and ya! for so so so long lor... and finally she called! i admit i almost went crazy~ wahahaha~ anyway, miss her so much, she's away and not online for days lor... and no worry noe... we got this thingy called EMAIL~! haha~ ok ok enough of all this...

its pay day! alot of plans in mind... hav make a lot of changes to my plans... rather den taking the real estate degree by smart work, decide to take up degree in FM by trent G... no choice... cos alot of changes in smartwork degree, they hav extend it from 2 yrs to 3 yrs, and from double major to one major and one minor... for a price of $22000++, which might increase if i were to register for the next yr one... anyway, 3 yrs is jus too long for mi... u mean i hav to stuck down here for 3 yr!!! no holidays, no changing of company?! OMG! its hell... nah... so switch to Trent which is 50% cheaper and jus 1 yr... well, the modules are indeed a little diff, but, i concern more is on the cert itself. as for the knowledge, i can gain from my working experience... get it?! in sg, they tok abt PAPERS only... so... if i hav tat papers and i hav enough of experience, i see no problem... and ya, i can always further upgrade myself after my degree... so not a big issue... jus tat i'll hav to chiong for a complete 1 yr! no holiday, no stupid thingy anymore, a serious yr! maybe really hav to put my playfulness aside! ok ok... to begin next yr, mainly becos a change in smartwork course, and also my bday! no choice, i'm born in oct... and i hav plans... come on, i'm 21 this yr, i dun wanna think abt skipping lesson even b4 i register for the school... and if i were to take up trent G, its even more impossible for mi to skip... and COME ON! i haven't go for a oversea plan and u mean i got to be STUCK in SG for a YEAR! oh damn it! nah~ i wan a bk first! if not i buay gan muah u noe... and ya, i mean it by CHIONG! so... forgive mi my dear fren... i got to tame down alot during my 12mths of study, forgive me if i couldn't join ur for any exciting event, couldn't spend enough time wif u ppl... jus one yr! tat's my choice... and bless me pls!

CONGRATE! I hav finish paying my Bioskin installment... OMG! u mean i'm free from it, oh! i can't believe it... haha~ a 4 mth installment, i took 6 mths to complete... hell! haha~ anyway i'm free from it... but still, i'm penniless! hav to put alot of shopping crave aside... my bebe rhinestone short which cost a bloody $69! My Lancome Maquicake which cost $70! my limited edition lancome juicy tube which cost $30 x 2! my anna sui concealer which cost $31! my mango sales... All hav to put aside... OMG!!! tat's hell... so so hell~ hai~ no shopping! if not, no entertainment... no leisure... OMG! so i choose to forgo my shopping! hai~ jus can't hav the best of both world! sad~

planning holiday... Calling everyone, who wanna go for holiday... will most likely be in 20 to 25 Oct, taiwan or HongKong or u hav any gd plc to recommend?! HOLIDAY BREAK DESPERATELY NEEDED!!!! and any guys wanna take mi on a HOLIDAY! DESPERATELY NEED A BREAK!

well, tat's all for this week... nth much really, not gng clubbing, not anything... so... ya~ jus like tat~ still haven't upload my pic~ there's still freaking alot! and pls! i'm bz these day... got some shit job from my dear boss! wow biang! *faint*... how i wish i hav attachment student wif mi right now! BUT! this division DUN HAV!!!!

PussyCat Dolls - Don't Cha

Uh, uh
Ooh baby
Huh
Dolls

I know you like me (I know you like me)
I know you do (I know you do)
That's why whenever I come around
She's all over you
And I know you want it (I know you want it)
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)
And in the back of your mind
I know you should be on with me

[Chorus]
Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Don't cha
Don't cha
Don't you wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Don't you wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Don't cha (haah aah)
Don't cha

Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)
Leave it alone (leave it alone)
Cause if it ain't love it just ain't enough
To leave a happy home (oh, oh)
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)
You have to play fair (you have to play fair, yeah)
See, I don't care
But I know she ain't gon' wanna share (oh, oh)
Huuu...

[Chorus]
Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me (oh)
Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me (like me)
Don't cha - don't cha baby
Don't cha - alright, sing
Don't you wish your girlfriend was raw like me (raw)
Don't you wish your girlfriend was fun like me (big thrills)
Don't cha (haah aah)
Don't cha

I know I'm on your mind
I know we'll have a good time
I'm your friend
I'm fun and I'm fine
I ain't lying
Look at me (shh!)
You ain't blind

I know I'm on your mind
And I know we'll have a good time
I'm your friend
I'm fun and I'm fine
I ain't lying
Look at me (shh!)
You ain't blind

See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand, heeey)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then, oh, friend your secret is
Safe with me (shh!)
(Hot!)

[Chorus]
Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me (oh)
Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me (like me)
Don't cha - don't cha baby
Don't cha - alright, sing
Don't you wish your girlfriend was raw like me (raw)
Don't you wish your girlfriend was fun like me (big thrills)
Don't cha (haah aah)
Don't cha

-------------------------------------

I noe~ its a rather old song but i haven't upload the clip yet~ yeah! i love PCD... of cos i hav to got this up also... the first song i heard from them and am lovin' it! i simply love their lyrics too... the music, the mtv and the lyrics... omg~ 'don't cha', 'beep' and 'buttons', simply makes me wanna hav their album... love them lots~

*note nicole's jacket!!! Its PCD's jacket lor, the hood, the words are chorus of 'don't cha' if u notice~ and ya! its white in this mv, and there's a black one in 'buttons' and it gotta be nicole wearing it agn... OMG! can someone get me tat.. PLS! **beg** They dun do shipment to singapore sia! SHIT