Have been feeling so depress over my keto diet recently, As I had not shed any weight, not about to go into deep ketosis ever since I got kick out since 2 weeks ago. I feel tired, I feel fat...
It seems like everything can affect keto-adapting, too much whey, too much protein, casein sensitive, carb sensitive.
Fat Fast
Almost at the verge of giving up on Ketogenic, going back to the calorie deficit meal replacement shake. I did my last research and I found fat fasting! Basically to eat only fat, or rather 90% of calories from fat, with only 1000 Cal a day. So yesterday I only took my 0 Cal BCAA, coconut oil, butter and Philadelphia cream cheese. and TaDang! Am back to Ketosis! Like finally! Shall continue myself in ketosis and achieve keto-adaption! KamBaTeh!
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Thursday, April 03, 2014
Re-direct of thoughts
I had decided to focus all my thoughts here in this blog rather than sharing things on Facebook. Well, reason being, not all your friends share the same mentality as you, rather than irritate people off, I prefer to "pen" it somewhere else. And worse of all, Am happy with my progress, I need to express it (without the negativity). Same, when am feeling upset, I need to release it (without further rubbing of salt to wounds by the comments from people I know). And best, keeping my thoughts to people who don't know me, so I won't offend anyone I know.
And of course, its also a kind of protection to myself, not letting people close to you know you too well, as you never know who are your friends, who are your enemy. After all, my goals, my dreams belong to me, not others, I love to do what I want to do, a bit of stubbornness but at least I have no regret.
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Back to the Gym
Finally I pick my choice of gym and I absolutely love it after 1 try yesterday, the varieties of weights and equipment are good.. and best, no one occupying the squat racks and smith machine squat, probably because the gym is new. But its totally cool with all the brand new equipments. As usual, I don't have any strict program, I just hit the squat, deadlift, leg press, shoulder press, chest press. Its enough to kill. Fine, I know I ought to come out with a good program so that I can allow my muscle recovery and lower the risk of access workout on certain body parts.
Not a fan of endurance training, be it in gym, in yoga, I hate high reps with light weights, I hate long distance jogging, I hate long holding of asana.. After I gain the learn about the logic on weight trainings:
Well... Needa really work on my workout plan.. Time to get real serious!
And of course, its also a kind of protection to myself, not letting people close to you know you too well, as you never know who are your friends, who are your enemy. After all, my goals, my dreams belong to me, not others, I love to do what I want to do, a bit of stubbornness but at least I have no regret.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Back to the Gym
Finally I pick my choice of gym and I absolutely love it after 1 try yesterday, the varieties of weights and equipment are good.. and best, no one occupying the squat racks and smith machine squat, probably because the gym is new. But its totally cool with all the brand new equipments. As usual, I don't have any strict program, I just hit the squat, deadlift, leg press, shoulder press, chest press. Its enough to kill. Fine, I know I ought to come out with a good program so that I can allow my muscle recovery and lower the risk of access workout on certain body parts.
Not a fan of endurance training, be it in gym, in yoga, I hate high reps with light weights, I hate long distance jogging, I hate long holding of asana.. After I gain the learn about the logic on weight trainings:
- 1-5 reps = Strength
- 6-12 = Hypertrophy
- 12+ = Endurance
Well... Needa really work on my workout plan.. Time to get real serious!
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Loyalty seems to be a difficult word
I hate to say this but seriously... Been following this local fitness athlete, she jus fell out of this 11 years relationship because of the guy being a liar and of cos all story there's always a slut behind it..
It really hurt (especially for me who have a history) seeing people cheating around, sluts throwing themselves at useless guys... perhaps to us, this guys are worthless, to slut that stood so low, they are jus too valuable, that they must grab hold, using all means to get him.. seriously dun get it, what so good, not like he is some heir or so... not like he earn $10K per month, maybe he dun even able to earn $1K a month.
People always say "love is blind", in fact, its blinded by "love". Or should I say blinded by "attention" or "loneliness"? What the hell is love all about? Making use of each other? fear of loneliness.. To me, just a status, just a companion (maybe not even a quality one), maybe really is "Ahmad" (in local slang, a chaffer),...
Even after a year, even after so long, not able to let go is a overstated word. Do I even fuck care? I don't.. no longer, cause he is really terribly UGLY and OLD and USELESS. Sorry. But too bad, We are indeed people of different world. I hold a better qualification, better family background, better financial history, so ya.. But the agony is still working on me, because of one thing... not the broken heart, not the wounds, not the history, but the break of trust. This break give a really big impact on me... I know I can't walk out of it. I know it frustrate me. I can't able to accept anyone, not because I can't love but because I cant trust.
All stories indeed almost the same, one of the partner have affair out there and deny everything, then suddenly the 2 subjects become an item. Its funny. Seriously. Some guys just love to act like a garbage bin, they take whatever shit that is dump to them. And some Slut just love to throw themselves to guys and stick to them like irritating gums, mind it, its CHEWED gums (or I mean screwed?!). And usually We knows the ending...
I have indeed give up, cause I really unable to entrust my heart to anyone, none other than my blood family, my parents, my dog (ya, no one able to fight their loyalty, trust me). When I feel lonely, I yoga, I sweat. When I need a hug, I grab a pillow or my DOG. Its way better than going thru' the drama because of this cheap word - "loneliness".
It really hurt (especially for me who have a history) seeing people cheating around, sluts throwing themselves at useless guys... perhaps to us, this guys are worthless, to slut that stood so low, they are jus too valuable, that they must grab hold, using all means to get him.. seriously dun get it, what so good, not like he is some heir or so... not like he earn $10K per month, maybe he dun even able to earn $1K a month.
People always say "love is blind", in fact, its blinded by "love". Or should I say blinded by "attention" or "loneliness"? What the hell is love all about? Making use of each other? fear of loneliness.. To me, just a status, just a companion (maybe not even a quality one), maybe really is "Ahmad" (in local slang, a chaffer),...
Even after a year, even after so long, not able to let go is a overstated word. Do I even fuck care? I don't.. no longer, cause he is really terribly UGLY and OLD and USELESS. Sorry. But too bad, We are indeed people of different world. I hold a better qualification, better family background, better financial history, so ya.. But the agony is still working on me, because of one thing... not the broken heart, not the wounds, not the history, but the break of trust. This break give a really big impact on me... I know I can't walk out of it. I know it frustrate me. I can't able to accept anyone, not because I can't love but because I cant trust.
All stories indeed almost the same, one of the partner have affair out there and deny everything, then suddenly the 2 subjects become an item. Its funny. Seriously. Some guys just love to act like a garbage bin, they take whatever shit that is dump to them. And some Slut just love to throw themselves to guys and stick to them like irritating gums, mind it, its CHEWED gums (or I mean screwed?!). And usually We knows the ending...
I have indeed give up, cause I really unable to entrust my heart to anyone, none other than my blood family, my parents, my dog (ya, no one able to fight their loyalty, trust me). When I feel lonely, I yoga, I sweat. When I need a hug, I grab a pillow or my DOG. Its way better than going thru' the drama because of this cheap word - "loneliness".
Thursday, January 02, 2014
I had let go.. feeling absolutely fabulous..
What's the best u get for this 2014? I guess my Best is the moment I met my ex yesterday in a sort of gathering occasion... Best is because I realized that I absolutely felt numb towards everything, no hatred, no misses (definitely, cos the me now will never go for such a guy - I still waiting for a prince Macho or a yoga guru), no anger, no happiness, jus purely no emotions. I dun even bother, however, I think people around me got affected more than I do.. But I didn't appear friendly either, for good reason, 1st of all, no point acting friendly, 2nd - I dun need any extras in my life, 3rd - that's how I treat a stranger (especially someone of a opposite sex), I dun smile to stranger who stare at my direction, lastly - The "me"' now want no drama, I dun wan further rumors, gossips, watsoever that come my way. So, dun mistaken that I still hold grudge, I don't, at least, no longer. Cos am happy that we didn't make it, and glad that we break it. As this is what makes me strong and do things that I thot i'll never be able to do. I can't imagine how i'll look like, how lowly i'll stood becos of my appearance, how much more worries will I have in term of financial, health, how much more tears do i have to go thru'...
To me, love comes in many form... love from friends, love from family, love from pets... it don't have to be a guy-girl kinda love or rather sexual love.. many times, people mistaken companionship as love, mistaken sex as love, which am totally tired of.. I keep improve my strength, my physique, my fitness level, not to be appealing to opposite sex, not to attract more guys, but to be stronger, strong till a guy come to me and say 'Girl, u're strong!" I don't mind losing what a woman call an asset - my boobs, cos I seriously want no drama. I need a very strong guy who think that he is able to handle my stubbornness, my strong character, my tears, my fitness level, apparently, I had yet to met anyone, I guess I tend to bring their ego down. But doesn't matters, its jus a companionship afterall, I have all my time occupied, moving towards my goals and my dreams.
To me, love comes in many form... love from friends, love from family, love from pets... it don't have to be a guy-girl kinda love or rather sexual love.. many times, people mistaken companionship as love, mistaken sex as love, which am totally tired of.. I keep improve my strength, my physique, my fitness level, not to be appealing to opposite sex, not to attract more guys, but to be stronger, strong till a guy come to me and say 'Girl, u're strong!" I don't mind losing what a woman call an asset - my boobs, cos I seriously want no drama. I need a very strong guy who think that he is able to handle my stubbornness, my strong character, my tears, my fitness level, apparently, I had yet to met anyone, I guess I tend to bring their ego down. But doesn't matters, its jus a companionship afterall, I have all my time occupied, moving towards my goals and my dreams.
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