Tuesday, November 30, 2004
I'm Totally TORN
I had fallen apart, torn into pieces... i guess today is one of the worst day of my life~! i'm jus so in pain... y am i born this way? born to be wif this character that is not too ger and not tat men either! i'm so tired... Anyone still rmb tat i'm actually not tat strong? who to blame? mi? u? y am i been isolating myself? i dun wish to.... but its either i keep it to myself, or get all ppl involve and upset!i'm not petty and i'm not trying to act pity! The words still running in my mind... it only send tears to my eyes when i tot of it... its hurt, but who noes or rather who care?! Dun ask mi wat happen, dun show concern, i dun need sympathy, i dun need care... Jus leave mi alone, let mi suffer in my world... how i wish tml nv come, so i dun hav to even think how to face ppl tml, wat to do? should i forget or should i jus stay the way i am? if i choose to forget, will he choose to forget... i noe he dun mean wat he said, but its true tat it really hurt mi so deeply... becos of my feeling, i start the fire... and now it become war? how will it end? in peace or get both party badly injured? how will my tml be? will it be unchange or will it be affected? too many uncertainty make mi feel like escape... i noe escaping is not a way out but its my way to solve problem... cos i know no one cares... no one cares at all~! i'm jus a emotional wreck... they will only think tat i'm children or over-reacting... but i'm seriously torn, Totally TORN...
Monday, November 29, 2004
Beware!!! NASTY Jeslyn @k@ Sijia will Come Back Anytime!!!
sometimes i really think tat i hav no choice ![]()
but to be nasty like how i am in sec sch! Being a nice chap is real difficult~! last time i used to be a very damn hot-temper ger who nv care abt how others think or feel... i would jus say watever nasty comments to whoever without bothering whether i did hurt that ppl's feeling anot! As time past, i grown up and begin to care abt how others feel, my use of words, note tat i shouldn't just comment or scold watever i dun like... and so i begin to be accept by ppl and got myself many frens... on the other hand, i'm suffer @ the same time! i keep everything to myself, keep quiet even though i'm not happy... ppl say that i isolate myself... ya~ i'm suffering! sometimes i really feel tat one should be selfish! get wat i mean? its either u suffer or other suffer! y make urself so miserable? sometime i wish that i will go back to the sijia who is so nasty in words! at least it make mi feel better! hai~ forces of nature...
forget abt all this personal thoughts... let's tok abt my 'so call' 1st day of work! i think i'm really happy when i'm wif my monkeys!!! i mean REALLY!!! OK~! i'm super bias! i treat my monkeys alot better than my whoever fren i might say! i admit!!! just dun noe y?! maybe they treat mi very well... I just wish to spend all my time wif them, cos wif them ard, i'm free from all worries and problems... u see, CPG dun pay mi extra for staying after 5.30, but still i will do so! like sat, i stay till 1.30pm, and today i stay till 7pm++... jus to wait for fendy, raffeeh and koon! we enjoy each other company and willing to stay back to wait for jus any one of them, even if we r not paid! this morning saw my ah beng!!! he working night shift the day b4, so he leaving at 9am~! din get to chat much wif him! tml also the same thing, will get to see him in the morning for awhile... wed, off day for him~ thur onwards, morning and afternoon shift!!! hehe~! Guess wat?! Fendy HAVE the tix for SI!!! shit him! his niece got 4 tix and gonna bring him along! kns sia! i wanna watch leh~ but kind of troublesome lah... cos the tix is wif no seat given, tat means all the fan will go and queue up early in the morning jus to get the front and best seats... for ppl like me, won't go to tat extent for SI, so most prob will be taking the behind seats... view not gd, everything is not fine~ for wat?! hai... best stay @ home~! haha~! back to my wkplace! after leaving PGP, we head pasir panjang for dinner! actually we intend to go home one but Tjew make an effort to tag along as he thought we gng for dinner... so as not to disappoint anyone, we went for our dinner! din eat much actually, cos eating lots of junk food in between wking hr~! they went for nasi lemak, which is quite popular, quite costly as well and claim that its worth the $$... so imagine how tasty it is?! haha... As usually loads of craps whenever fendy or koon is ard! especially when mi ard, the crapping matters got worst! and now wif Tjew, they start to make fun of us~! hai... all our Craps are RA(adult theme), as i noe, my blog is open to all ages... and so better keep all the craps away b4 someone complain tat i did not place a label 'Do not enter if u r under 18yr old'~ anyway, jus so fun~
SI final is rd the corner... hai~ as too many rumors pop-up and comments are everywhere... really dun wish to think who will win or rather expect who to win... as u noe, the higher the expectation is, the more the disappointment is... rumors saying ken had already decide who to win, to release album, sylvest's mum fraud, sylvest might become clay aiken, and so on... the expectation, the hope - taufik nv got the 2nd lowest vote in the all the competitions and always the 1st one to be out of the risky corner! they saying frm all foul mouth - saying syl get sympathy votes as he was innocent and shouldn't let the fraud matter affect the competition, taufik trying to gain sympathy votes by crying in SI Phenomenon... taufik hav the talent but syl have the looks... watever ppl say or whoever's fans say... i think they are all hurtful comments... comments like this will not only hurt the 2 grp of supporter but also in term hurt the contestants... they r not jus rival, they r fren also~! SI fans will noe all this, all the contestants hav close relationship... watever comments jus keep it to ourselves... although i'm one taufik supporter, if happens that syl won, i'll try wish him all the best! get wat i'm trying to say!
but i do appreciate comments like this:
-----------------------------------------------
flower Rating : 5/5 November 25, 2004
I'm not actually Taufik fans but just drop by to wish him GOOD LUCK 4 final. Both u & Sly have work hard to be in Final & worth people respect 4 that. Happy tt both of u have hugh sportmanship sense, treat each other like brother & focus on give your fans good show. Both of u r already WINNER.
-----------------------------------------------
and like wilson's ger, Eliz, she actually one great syl's fan but yet she still take pic of taufik and even take pic wif him~ its cool isn't it?
and of cos nasty comments do come in:
-----------------------------------------------
girlie Rating : 1/5 November 24, 2004
taufik sux!!!!
-----------------------------------------------
as wat i say ppl like this make a fuss of themselves!:
-----------------------------------------------
Panda QTB November 24, 2004
just as idols need bucking up, fans too...think before we criticize.
-----------------------------------------------
debbyrowe November 25, 2004
girlie stop ur nonsense! You all wanna insult taufik! Do it some where else! Just stop it
-----------------------------------------------
all taken frm SI official webby!
so fans out there, be more sensible pls!!! TAUFIK GO< GO< but SYL also MUST STRIVE FOR THE BEST! Peace out~!
forget abt all this personal thoughts... let's tok abt my 'so call' 1st day of work! i think i'm really happy when i'm wif my monkeys!!! i mean REALLY!!! OK~! i'm super bias! i treat my monkeys alot better than my whoever fren i might say! i admit!!! just dun noe y?! maybe they treat mi very well... I just wish to spend all my time wif them, cos wif them ard, i'm free from all worries and problems... u see, CPG dun pay mi extra for staying after 5.30, but still i will do so! like sat, i stay till 1.30pm, and today i stay till 7pm++... jus to wait for fendy, raffeeh and koon! we enjoy each other company and willing to stay back to wait for jus any one of them, even if we r not paid! this morning saw my ah beng!!! he working night shift the day b4, so he leaving at 9am~! din get to chat much wif him! tml also the same thing, will get to see him in the morning for awhile... wed, off day for him~ thur onwards, morning and afternoon shift!!! hehe~! Guess wat?! Fendy HAVE the tix for SI!!! shit him! his niece got 4 tix and gonna bring him along! kns sia! i wanna watch leh~ but kind of troublesome lah... cos the tix is wif no seat given, tat means all the fan will go and queue up early in the morning jus to get the front and best seats... for ppl like me, won't go to tat extent for SI, so most prob will be taking the behind seats... view not gd, everything is not fine~ for wat?! hai... best stay @ home~! haha~! back to my wkplace! after leaving PGP, we head pasir panjang for dinner! actually we intend to go home one but Tjew make an effort to tag along as he thought we gng for dinner... so as not to disappoint anyone, we went for our dinner! din eat much actually, cos eating lots of junk food in between wking hr~! they went for nasi lemak, which is quite popular, quite costly as well and claim that its worth the $$... so imagine how tasty it is?! haha... As usually loads of craps whenever fendy or koon is ard! especially when mi ard, the crapping matters got worst! and now wif Tjew, they start to make fun of us~! hai... all our Craps are RA(adult theme), as i noe, my blog is open to all ages... and so better keep all the craps away b4 someone complain tat i did not place a label 'Do not enter if u r under 18yr old'~ anyway, jus so fun~
SI final is rd the corner... hai~ as too many rumors pop-up and comments are everywhere... really dun wish to think who will win or rather expect who to win... as u noe, the higher the expectation is, the more the disappointment is... rumors saying ken had already decide who to win, to release album, sylvest's mum fraud, sylvest might become clay aiken, and so on... the expectation, the hope - taufik nv got the 2nd lowest vote in the all the competitions and always the 1st one to be out of the risky corner! they saying frm all foul mouth - saying syl get sympathy votes as he was innocent and shouldn't let the fraud matter affect the competition, taufik trying to gain sympathy votes by crying in SI Phenomenon... taufik hav the talent but syl have the looks... watever ppl say or whoever's fans say... i think they are all hurtful comments... comments like this will not only hurt the 2 grp of supporter but also in term hurt the contestants... they r not jus rival, they r fren also~! SI fans will noe all this, all the contestants hav close relationship... watever comments jus keep it to ourselves... although i'm one taufik supporter, if happens that syl won, i'll try wish him all the best! get wat i'm trying to say!
but i do appreciate comments like this:
-----------------------------------------------
flower Rating : 5/5 November 25, 2004
I'm not actually Taufik fans but just drop by to wish him GOOD LUCK 4 final. Both u & Sly have work hard to be in Final & worth people respect 4 that. Happy tt both of u have hugh sportmanship sense, treat each other like brother & focus on give your fans good show. Both of u r already WINNER.
-----------------------------------------------
and like wilson's ger, Eliz, she actually one great syl's fan but yet she still take pic of taufik and even take pic wif him~ its cool isn't it?
and of cos nasty comments do come in:
-----------------------------------------------
girlie Rating : 1/5 November 24, 2004
taufik sux!!!!
-----------------------------------------------
as wat i say ppl like this make a fuss of themselves!:
-----------------------------------------------
Panda QTB November 24, 2004
just as idols need bucking up, fans too...think before we criticize.
-----------------------------------------------
debbyrowe November 25, 2004
girlie stop ur nonsense! You all wanna insult taufik! Do it some where else! Just stop it
-----------------------------------------------
all taken frm SI official webby!
so fans out there, be more sensible pls!!! TAUFIK GO< GO< but SYL also MUST STRIVE FOR THE BEST! Peace out~!
Saturday, November 27, 2004
"Incomparable To Jay" World Tour 2004
thes few days are one of my happiest moment in my life!!! 
really so happy! got alot to blog abt for jus this 2 day!... haha~
yesterday:
AAHHHH!!!
GUESS WAT!!! yesterday i went to watch "Incomparable To JAY" World Tour 2004!!! OMG!!! so happy~ i tot i'll miss it this time rd and was kind of disappointed... but who noes? in the morning, wilson called and ask if i wanna watch so we end up buying tixs! $98... but believe it anot? its the best siting i hav as compared to the past 2 concerts!!! the 1st jay concert in sg is held in suntec convectional hall, bought the $98 tix! the 2nd one is held in sg indoor stadium, $128... and yesterday is $98 but better den the view of the $128 tix i bought 2 yrs back! y is it so? its something to do wif the seating and stage arrangement!
as u can see, the '04 concert is center stage, so hav a better view! and we did something tat is quite bad! we actually ran to the $128 seat, frm P1 to P2, jus try to get nearer to jay! when jay move to the other side of the stage, the guard chased us away, and so me and wilson sat @ P3, without ppl knowing tat we actually bought the $98 tix! haha~! As compared to the '02 concert, the guard are more strict and we can't jus run as and when we like! and u can compared the distance between the stage and my seat, a great diff isn't it? L1 and L2~! L1 is so much nearer lor! ok ok~ back to the concert... we took quite a no. of pic and wilson even record some of the rare songs, like jay singing songs that he wrote for others and most of all, he played the chinese flute! wow biang~! super duper talented sia! and its LIVE RECORDING~! OMG!!! wow!!!
first of all, we went to orchard, thinking of purchasing the tix @ sistic scott! but den we realized tat sistic scott is gone and so we went to the nearest sistix counter which is @ wisma... OMG~! long queue sia! den we decide to travel down to bugis, hoping tat there won't be long queue or rather NO QUEUE @ all! haha~ on our way down, we saw a mjr guy, who i dun quite noe, but den learn frm wilson tat he's actually frankie! anyway, we reach bugis and ya!! we BOUGHT the TIX!!! after buying, went to ajisen to hav a dinner~! took photo of our last min decision!
Wu~Woo~ after eating, head wilson's house, as this hygience guy insist on taking a bath and hav his clothe change b4 gng to the concert, claimed tat its personal hygience! OMG! we reach indoor stadium @ 8 sharp! lucky, the concert dun start on time, like sg wedding dinner huh! haha~
the crowd!
the concert Poster!!!
me and wilson wif our tix in the indoor...
b4 the concert start, showing a '3' wif my fingers to show that its the 3rd time we watching jay's concert!
when the light dim, u get to see all the light sticks!!!
and ya! of cos the concert start!! yeah~! he did the opening by singing 'yi fu zhi ming' wif jay high up in front of a cross! shit, he's not facing my direction so unable to take pic! haha~ and at my view, this is the best i can take~!
haha~! no choice, got to take pic of the big screen! haha~! anf my shitty cam, digital zoom, not clear~!
the first costume!
a zoom in to jay jay face~ haha~! saw it? he actually played the chinese flute! OMG~! so impressive!
the 2nd costume~! so hip hop huh~ yoz yoz sia!
2nd attempt! haha~ well... no improvement, ok! at least can see the beautiful lighting! haha~
jay rapping! yoz yoz~!
3rd costume, also the perforamce that make the both of us ran frm $98 seat to $128 seat!
this is not taken at the screen! taken @ the place we standing! OMG! so near! haha~!
after this, the special guest appearance, nan quan ma ma! but not a fan of theirs, so din take a single pic! haha~! i'm jus tat bias!
jay reappear wif his very own WHITE PIANO transport it here all the way frm taiwan! WOW~! of cos the all time favourite, 'an jing'! so touching, wif his own played piano cord! OMG! jus imagine hearing live singing, an jing by jay! OMG~! I'M SO BLESSED!!! after the an jing, he continue to play ard wif his altimate piano skill~! or rather showing off his super duper fast fingers! he played the piano wif one of the nan quan ma ma's member... and pls! he's trying to prove tat asian can also play piano as well as european! and ya, he did it~! he played those fast pieces which require super fast fingering change! e.g. the bumble bee tune~! wow~! POWER! hav to e there and hear it urself! its super!
take off his coat, and continue wif other soothing songs! and he sang soem of his compose! Landy's 'zhu wo sheng ri kuai le'~ OMG~!!! super touching~! and half way through, he introduce his 2nd special guest! LANDY WEN LAN!!! oh no... my queen! wow! i simply love her so much! so chio and sexy! she continue wif the song while jay take the chance to change his outfit! and she brought a rather fast tempo song, 'ren lai feng', and her shake butt dancing~ super sexy!
landy wif her dance partner, perform this intimate dancing~! seducing sia!
jay wif his 'shuang dao', 'shuang jie gun' and 'long quan'~!
nearly the end of concert... encore.. encore... and jay is out again! this time rd, since its nearly the end~! A min b4 jay make his last appearence for the nite, i and wilson hurry to the front of the $128 seating rail and get a good standing place! the moment when i get so near to jay! pic taken! not the screen!
last but not least...
jay waves gdbye to the sg fans~!
oh ya~ saw jianyi wif his gf, haha~ so pai seh! cos he keep seeing mi runing up and down the stairs! haha~ a few more pic b4 we end our day!
promise nv to miss the jay's 4th concert in sg! haha~
the empty stage!
last pic of the day! head home after the concert! wonderful day i have~!
Today:
went PGP to report work! OH YEAH~! back to my 'hometown', miting all my monkeys again! haha~! so fun~! guess wat? ah beng is working there also! haha~ i'll get to see him this coming monday! haha~ saw the usual people, ramli, fendy, raffi, hairil, mul, boon pin, KS, maria, janet, and those 'new' techs! haha~ was like i got the priority, get to choose either maintenance or front office, of cos maintenance... face 1 or face 2? hmmm~ face 1, cos they will alway go back to the office wat... if i were at face 2, den the face 1 guys won't go over often, den i won't get to see them~! hehe~ ok~ gonna do the inspection booking thingy and luggage rm~! my job again! today din get to see ah koon and fazli~! waiting for monday~! this hairil working night shift today, ask mi to accompany mi, go back to pgp frm 10pm to the next morning!!! oh gosh! is he mad???!!! haha~! the forever joker! haha~ after the part-timers get to go off, i'm still behind wif the guys! sicko fendy, keep making fun of mi... make me so pai seh sia! still pestering hairil for my free ride home~ waiting~ haha...
my wking pass! hehe~
-end-
really so happy! got alot to blog abt for jus this 2 day!... haha~
yesterday:
AAHHHH!!!
GUESS WAT!!! yesterday i went to watch "Incomparable To JAY" World Tour 2004!!! OMG!!! so happy~ i tot i'll miss it this time rd and was kind of disappointed... but who noes? in the morning, wilson called and ask if i wanna watch so we end up buying tixs! $98... but believe it anot? its the best siting i hav as compared to the past 2 concerts!!! the 1st jay concert in sg is held in suntec convectional hall, bought the $98 tix! the 2nd one is held in sg indoor stadium, $128... and yesterday is $98 but better den the view of the $128 tix i bought 2 yrs back! y is it so? its something to do wif the seating and stage arrangement!
as u can see, the '04 concert is center stage, so hav a better view! and we did something tat is quite bad! we actually ran to the $128 seat, frm P1 to P2, jus try to get nearer to jay! when jay move to the other side of the stage, the guard chased us away, and so me and wilson sat @ P3, without ppl knowing tat we actually bought the $98 tix! haha~! As compared to the '02 concert, the guard are more strict and we can't jus run as and when we like! and u can compared the distance between the stage and my seat, a great diff isn't it? L1 and L2~! L1 is so much nearer lor! ok ok~ back to the concert... we took quite a no. of pic and wilson even record some of the rare songs, like jay singing songs that he wrote for others and most of all, he played the chinese flute! wow biang~! super duper talented sia! and its LIVE RECORDING~! OMG!!! wow!!!
first of all, we went to orchard, thinking of purchasing the tix @ sistic scott! but den we realized tat sistic scott is gone and so we went to the nearest sistix counter which is @ wisma... OMG~! long queue sia! den we decide to travel down to bugis, hoping tat there won't be long queue or rather NO QUEUE @ all! haha~ on our way down, we saw a mjr guy, who i dun quite noe, but den learn frm wilson tat he's actually frankie! anyway, we reach bugis and ya!! we BOUGHT the TIX!!! after buying, went to ajisen to hav a dinner~! took photo of our last min decision!
Wu~Woo~ after eating, head wilson's house, as this hygience guy insist on taking a bath and hav his clothe change b4 gng to the concert, claimed tat its personal hygience! OMG! we reach indoor stadium @ 8 sharp! lucky, the concert dun start on time, like sg wedding dinner huh! haha~
the crowd!
the concert Poster!!!
me and wilson wif our tix in the indoor...
b4 the concert start, showing a '3' wif my fingers to show that its the 3rd time we watching jay's concert!
when the light dim, u get to see all the light sticks!!!
and ya! of cos the concert start!! yeah~! he did the opening by singing 'yi fu zhi ming' wif jay high up in front of a cross! shit, he's not facing my direction so unable to take pic! haha~ and at my view, this is the best i can take~!
haha~! no choice, got to take pic of the big screen! haha~! anf my shitty cam, digital zoom, not clear~!
the first costume!
a zoom in to jay jay face~ haha~! saw it? he actually played the chinese flute! OMG~! so impressive!
the 2nd costume~! so hip hop huh~ yoz yoz sia!
2nd attempt! haha~ well... no improvement, ok! at least can see the beautiful lighting! haha~
jay rapping! yoz yoz~!
3rd costume, also the perforamce that make the both of us ran frm $98 seat to $128 seat!
this is not taken at the screen! taken @ the place we standing! OMG! so near! haha~!
after this, the special guest appearance, nan quan ma ma! but not a fan of theirs, so din take a single pic! haha~! i'm jus tat bias!
jay reappear wif his very own WHITE PIANO transport it here all the way frm taiwan! WOW~! of cos the all time favourite, 'an jing'! so touching, wif his own played piano cord! OMG! jus imagine hearing live singing, an jing by jay! OMG~! I'M SO BLESSED!!! after the an jing, he continue to play ard wif his altimate piano skill~! or rather showing off his super duper fast fingers! he played the piano wif one of the nan quan ma ma's member... and pls! he's trying to prove tat asian can also play piano as well as european! and ya, he did it~! he played those fast pieces which require super fast fingering change! e.g. the bumble bee tune~! wow~! POWER! hav to e there and hear it urself! its super!
take off his coat, and continue wif other soothing songs! and he sang soem of his compose! Landy's 'zhu wo sheng ri kuai le'~ OMG~!!! super touching~! and half way through, he introduce his 2nd special guest! LANDY WEN LAN!!! oh no... my queen! wow! i simply love her so much! so chio and sexy! she continue wif the song while jay take the chance to change his outfit! and she brought a rather fast tempo song, 'ren lai feng', and her shake butt dancing~ super sexy!
landy wif her dance partner, perform this intimate dancing~! seducing sia!
jay wif his 'shuang dao', 'shuang jie gun' and 'long quan'~!
nearly the end of concert... encore.. encore... and jay is out again! this time rd, since its nearly the end~! A min b4 jay make his last appearence for the nite, i and wilson hurry to the front of the $128 seating rail and get a good standing place! the moment when i get so near to jay! pic taken! not the screen!
last but not least...
jay waves gdbye to the sg fans~!
oh ya~ saw jianyi wif his gf, haha~ so pai seh! cos he keep seeing mi runing up and down the stairs! haha~ a few more pic b4 we end our day!
promise nv to miss the jay's 4th concert in sg! haha~
the empty stage!
last pic of the day! head home after the concert! wonderful day i have~!
Today:
went PGP to report work! OH YEAH~! back to my 'hometown', miting all my monkeys again! haha~! so fun~! guess wat? ah beng is working there also! haha~ i'll get to see him this coming monday! haha~ saw the usual people, ramli, fendy, raffi, hairil, mul, boon pin, KS, maria, janet, and those 'new' techs! haha~ was like i got the priority, get to choose either maintenance or front office, of cos maintenance... face 1 or face 2? hmmm~ face 1, cos they will alway go back to the office wat... if i were at face 2, den the face 1 guys won't go over often, den i won't get to see them~! hehe~ ok~ gonna do the inspection booking thingy and luggage rm~! my job again! today din get to see ah koon and fazli~! waiting for monday~! this hairil working night shift today, ask mi to accompany mi, go back to pgp frm 10pm to the next morning!!! oh gosh! is he mad???!!! haha~! the forever joker! haha~ after the part-timers get to go off, i'm still behind wif the guys! sicko fendy, keep making fun of mi... make me so pai seh sia! still pestering hairil for my free ride home~ waiting~ haha...
my wking pass! hehe~
-end-
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