When I Need Your, Where Are Your?

maybe i really had made the wrong frens... wat e hell mann~ who are there for mi? those who hav steads one, no choice... i can't expect them to gif mi all their time... they hav their life... i appreciate, really appreciate what wilson gif to mi the care and concern... i dun blame for not being there when i need him, he got his life, his gf... i can only accept everything~ who else is there? those who i trust~ who? where r they? one, take care of her DOG!!! dun even bother to ask wat actually happen to mi~ one jus dun wish to come out and left mi alone BLEEDING, yet he knew my problem~ some frens are gd party partners but they might not be a true fren~ wat can i say~ i really need someone at this moment~ where are they? try to be a gd fren, listen to them, advice them, help them, etc... but wat i gain in e end? nth, jus 7 letters, NOTHING! haha~ tat's my fren~ those who i tot that they were my gd fren~ maybe i jus gave too much and expect too much in return~ or jus tat i appear to be too strong, everyone thinks tat i could handle all problems... but who really noe the inner me? who noe? i'm a human, i do hav problems... i's not always tat cheerful, tat 'happy go lucky'~ i do hav feeling, i do hav problems~ ya~ like wat the tarot card say, i tend to hide myself, isolate myself~ but wat~ i wish i could open out, i wish someone would listen but where r they? even when i cry, i hav to hide... not i wan to isolate myself, i got no choice~ i dun like to go ard begging ppl to listen to mi~ but deep in my heart i really need one, who actually noe? wat hurts mi most is not tat incidents tat happen, are those frens tat surround mi! come on, jes! wake up, no one owe u... jus tat u given too much~ do u really believe tat they will treat u like how u treat them~ jus wake up and see~ where are they? u can't even hear their concern~ for wat? when u face trouble, u still care abt ur fren, ask abt her sick dog, yet she dun even bother to say a sorry for not been able to listen to u~ not they owe mi, is i owe them... i'm here jus to return all my debts... i hate acting, really HATE~ when i'm out wif ppl, i tend to act very well~ laugh like mad, acting stupid~ but who noe i'm actually bleeding inside~ BLEEDING BADLY! why my life is so 'wonderful'? a life wif no one love, only ppl who out to cheat mi... a life which require so much acting tat make mi so tired... a life tat no one wan to listen or not worth listening... a life tat ppl only bother abt my 'happy' side and not my 'sad' side~ a life tat owe ppl so much... a life tat is out jus to return and suffer secretly~ wat a 'wonderful' life i hav! thanks god~!

at this moment, after reading all this, u might think tat i'm ridiculous~ all this are wat u'm thinking~ jus wat u actually wrote in ur blog, telling all those guy abt how u think~ u might think tat i'm asking too much, u got ur own poblem~ but hello! did u care in the 1st place or jus been ka po? hav u ever think abt this question, why to u, u got no fren? cos u only care abt those who dun appreciate ur present but forget abt those who try to give theri fullest~! that's the reason y u losing more and more frens~ and sad to say, i think i'm one who u gng to lose~ i do cherish our frenship! but i can't help when i'm not given a chance to~ not i wanna leave but u CHASE me out~ ya... gif and take~ but wat i hav~ i temper may be funny, maybe u r begining to dislike mi, jus tat i din realize~ pls... if u think tat U dun need a fren like mi, jus throw mi out, dun left mi hanging there, doing stupid things for someone who i consider as FREN~ pls... ya, serve mi rite for all this... i'm jus stupid~! why believe human beings? y? maybe in ur life u got only one and only fren tat u really appreciate, tat is TIM~ i'm jus not e one~ serve mi rite for thinking so highly of myself... thinking tat i'm some body to u~ haha~ laughing at myself sia~ its jus so funny~ so stupid~ ya i noe, i got e hint~ i noe wat to do~ i noe wat happen~ i noe in e 1st place i jus enter the wrong place~ sorry for disturbing ur life~ so sorry~ i'll leave as i promise~ thanks to u for making mi feel so lousy~ ya~ wake mi up! come on! continue isolating and 'enjoy' the pain~ those who are out there jus to destry mi, u win... i'm totally torn at this moment~ continue to destroy me~ tear away my skin, suck my blood, eat my flesh, break my bones~ jus enjoy~ i'm totally torn and tired! break mi futher~