Today... feel tat life sux~ suddenly feel so lonely~ i was alone walking at TM, den popular, den library. Many things come to my mind. Trying to look for someone to accompany mi, and i realized tat i fated to be left alone today~ I jus failed to find anyone~ called shumei, she slping, called dewei, he got sumthing on, called wilson, he having lesson... lastly called wee, ya~ he miting mi but no idea where to go~ i know y he agree to mit mi, its becos he dun wanna reject mi, can sense tat he dun really wish to mit, he wan to go home~ so in e end, i rather be alone~ i felt tat actually no one really care abt mi... they dun gif a damn to mi~ they got better things to do den to care abt mi~ WONDER IF ONE DAY I VANISH INTO THE AIR, WILL ANYONE REALIZE TAT I'M GONE? WILL ANYONE SHED A TEAR FOR MI? din blame anyone actually... everyone got so much things to care abt, who the hell am i? y should they care? who to blame? ans is NO ONE! this is the disadvantage of being single~ LONELY~ but i accept everything that is arrange for mi, i believe in fate~ so... no choice but to accept my life~ Out of sudden feel like crying... actually deep within mi, i do feel lonely at times, but i dun wish to show... i dun wan ppl to pity mi, i jus wan to be strong, jus wan to force myself to be strong~ who really understand wat kind of ppl i am? even mi myself also searching for the ans~ I had changed~ is it the forces of nature or? i jus love to close myself up and hide everything behind my *simling face*~ sound as if i had no problems, no troubles~ but which huamn beings doesn't hav problems? jus let others think tat i'm this type of troubleless ppl~ I'll be fine~ dun worry, dun pity mi~
din ate much for lunch... only had a cheeseburger, din actually sat down to enjoy my meal, but had a rather quick lunch, having e burger while walking aimlessly~ lastly went to library and borrowed this bk: "Chicken soup for the Grieving soul"... not bad, quite a nice bk~ Got to return it on the 10th of april~ After borrowing e bk, i thought of little ash ash and i went back home... when i saw ash, i felt tat all my loneliness are gone~ ash make mi feel that i'm needed and cherish by sum one~ Its really nice to hav a dog by my side, he's always there, but one thing not gd abt it is, he can't go movie, go ktv, go shopping wif mi~ I wonder how was my life without him last time? how i beable to survive till now? haa~ This morning he scare the hell out of mi~ he actually pull down my box of angsana seeds ad ate them~ OMG~ so afraid that he might be mute or poison~ luckily he's alrite now, he can still eat, still run, still bark~ *relieve*
watching ch U show (friday,8.30pm), <