too much uncertainty... at times, i dun really noe wat am i doing here on earth... my dreams? my goals? If one day i were to be call home by god and goddess, anything that i can't let go? anything that i will miss? anything tat i can't bear to leave behind? will i argue that i hav not been through wat i should, not the time to go yet..? will i...? for now, i think death is not a way out, to commit suicide or wat is jus a irresponsible chilish tots....for in, god dun wan u yet... imagine when u try to get into somewhere u dun belong to, normally ppl will chase u out... same goes to heaven... heaven won't entertain ppl who try to go in without permission, without been invite...
To be call home by god, mean a relieve from all unwanted... Heaven is a plc for good ones... its always gd to be wanted there... Fear, fear of death, wat there to fear of? an unknown plc one will be gng to... i'm fear too, fear the pain that i'll go through before death step in... To die peaceful is a bless indeed... see the amount of ppl who died quietly, beautifully... will i be one of those? When will i be wanted? I'm waiting and i'm counting my days toward god... Earth is close to hopeless... human - mind are stained, tots are dirty, breath stink and heart are cold... Being a human being is difficult, being a women is even worse...
ok~ tat's all abt death... y do i come to this out of sudden and also get my blog back to this suicidal skin~ nth abt wanting to commit suicide cos i alway tot tat commiting suicide is a selfish act and definitly not a way to escape frm trouble~ all i ask for is jus god to bring mi away... actually, its nth unsual abt me... cos if u really noe, i had this thinking since sometimes ago... life dun appear to be tat wonderful for me... nth in this earth is tiggering mi to continue... life had become so worthless...