After much thots... putting aside all personal feelings... Yes, it had changed.. You and me had changed.. You are no longer the person u are before, and I had slowly lost myself as times past...
I actually allow myself to forget to love myself, I allow myself to turn ugly. And now, I realized what went wrong... Am been blinded.. blinded by love..
I did a clean up to my photo album, I don't feel a thing as I start deleting the most recent photos..
As i gradually delete to the earlier period, like a year back, I begin to have this sadness in me..
As i continue to delete to the photos that are taken in our 1st year, I have a kinda "not bare to" feeling..
Then I realized... Its like u just found out that the someone who u used to love so much had actually died like probably a year ago without u noticing... And maybe the little sadness that am still having is something like "the person u love had died and he will never be back again". A soul-mate had become a total stranger.
Its not about the dogs... its not about half a year back... its actually about more than a year back.. when I allow myself to lose myself.. Allow myself to let go all my family and friends just becos of a changed person...
Now den I realized.. One have to love oneself and love the closet people around them, those that are blood related ones.. If u dun love them, everything in ur life is upside down. I think am crazy to have blindly stood by u all these years, ignoring what others may say, ignoring all the advices from those who truly love me and even turn against them becos of u.. its true craziness. I should not have done these and should not even allow all these..
I kept things from everyone becos I dun wan to hear any negative thing about u, Its me who is avoiding the reality, lying to myself, being an ostrich.
Perhaps, things happen for a reason... The reason is for me to understand all these and not be naive anymore.. Well... Life lesson is never ending, only until ur life come to an end.. but the thing is u must learn from whatever that have happen, rather than avoiding.. It all help to make u a better person...
Loving oneself is not abt revenge, but about appreciate who u are and people around u..
Arts of living, maybe.
Sorry to say.. No matter what, we will have to end it.. whether is there still love, habit, commit or wat not... but for the best of u and me.. Cos at this very point of time, I dun see any future being wit u anymore..
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