I appear to be strong cos i choose to be... the thing i told everyone : Body, mind and heart... body is the shell, is nth... Mind is the one that noe wat is right and wat is wrong... Heart is the one tat noe ur true feeling, wat u wan and desire for... So... ur heart is stronger or ur mind is stronger..? for me, my mind is stronger, cos there's too many things in life tat i wan and there's ppl who depends on me... i can't afford to let them down... i hav no tears when it come to r/s... i jus realize, its been quite some times when i cried cos of bk-up, cos of r/s heartbk... i been controlling myself, which wat my mind is doing... Somehow i neglect my heart, and tat explain my depression. i din drop a tear even when i receive the msg, even on the very night, at the very moment... i feel frustrated and no tears at all... until the time when i choose to blog it out, i face my heart and release my pain... and i start crying out loud... After so long, i untied it and let it breath... i'm feeling better somehow... but i can't lied tat i still hate slping... no more nightmare, i can slp pretty well, but i hate the moment when i wake up... i feel a sense of loss, its too terrible... i love nite and i dislike morning... morning should be a fresh but it bring me back to my heart and feel alittle painful... in the nite, my mind get working and knowing tat i hav far more important things awaiting for me, and there r ppl more miserable den me... but still i can't deny my heart at times... i'm really tired, both mentally and physically... i seriously need a bk... somewhere where there's only sun, mood, sea and no cars, no high rise building, no stress and busy life... and 1 or 2 really close buddies...
met Tricia yesterday... was chatting abt her problems... she told me, everytime she read my blog, she feel so envy... envy tat i lead a happy single life... i know i disappoint a few ppl... ppl who care, ppl who read me, ppl who know me as a loveless strong person, ppl who depends on me, ppl who envy me, ppl who love DeSoLo... the person who i disappoint the most is myself... i noe wat i should do and wat i shouldn't, but i din do much enough to control the situation, i noe i shouldn't hav start it, shouldn't hav accept it, shouldn't hav believe in it, should hav stay put as jus a fren and only a fren... but i jus din resist myself from all these...
last time i choose not to confess, cos i afraid of losing, now i choose not to confess, cos i afraid of getting... not tat i dun fight, jus tat i dare not fight... dun bless me wif a better guy, but bless me wif no love... i'm serious...
歌曲：天灰
歌手：S.H.E
如果你不再出现
我的世界还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验什么叫永远
想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁